Letting It Go Even When It's Hard.

I'm sure you have all had a manuscript you poured your heart into only to finish it and shelf it. I would love a bloghop where we can share excerpts from these gems collecting dust. I just have no idea how to get one started. (Any one in on this) Let's dust them off and show each other a piece of something we love.

I was rereading an old manuscript of mine. For those of you that follow my blog it's from one of the manuscripts in my Forever series-my first attempts at writing a novel. These books will always hold a spot in my heart. They were my first successful attempt at writing a full length book and the first time characters ever spoke to me. The characters spoke to me so much to the point I thought I was crazy and believe it or not they still do. If I ever got to finish the series I know there would be another book and I know exactly how it would go. Unfortunately for now it's not going to happen. But I did want to share one of my favorite scenes from the third book in the series- Nothing is Forever.

 To set it up Steve and Lisa dated and Lisa is best friends with Steve's sister Emma. When Steve was away at college he broke up with Lisa, she fell into a depression and tried to hide behind alcohol. She's sober now. (It's very rough. Lot of dialogue.)

Lisa and Steve before the breakup.

Steve rounded the corner of the house and before Lisa could react he was standing in front of her. In a moment of panic she jumped up from her chair.

“I was just going back in,” she said and went to walk by him.

“Lisa.” Her name slid off his tongue as it always did and she could feel the knots building up in her stomach. 

Why now? She couldn’t help but think. She was frozen. She couldn’t answer him yet she couldn’t seem to get her feet to move. He had a hold on her and she wondered if that hold would always be there.

 “I made a mistake.” The words she had been waiting to hear for months and he finally said them. She still couldn’t move. Her heart was racing, her hands even in the cool November air were sweating.

She could feel him behind her now. “I’m sorry Lisa.” She still didn’t turn around so he kept talking. “When I had a bad day and needed someone to talk to you were the first person to pop into my head. I would go to call you and then I would remember what I did. At night when I was lying in bed alone I wondered what it was that you were doing and if you were just as lonely as I was. I can tell now that you were and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that.” She could feel his breath on her ear. He was getting closer.

“I waited for you,” Lisa muttered then paused. “I waited for my phone to ring and to hear those exact words. I waited day after day for you to show up on my doorstep and you never did. You never came. I’ve been waiting for two months and now. Now it’s too late.”

“I don’t think it is.” He went to put his hand on her shoulder and then stopped himself.

“You once told me that all you ever wanted was for me to be happy and you would do everything in your power to make me happy.” Lisa found the courage to turn around and face him. “You lied to me.”

“I did, but not on purpose.”

“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. You can’t take it back and you can’t change anything.”

“I want to make things right with us.” Steve was willing to do anything.

“Like I said it’s too late for us. Maybe in time we can be friends again.”
            “We were never really friends.”

“Yes we were. Before that summer we were.”

“My life didn’t start until that summer.”

“Steve just stop. I can’t do this. I don’t care if you think we belong together and that you made a mistake. You should have thought about that a long time ago.” Lisa couldn’t believe what she was saying but she was protecting her heart.

“I was lonely. I was selfish.”

“And what happens when you go back to school and you’re lonely again. I can’t go through with it again Steve. I just can’t, not again. The pain of losing you broke me and I refuse to allow it to happen again. I’m sorry.” Lisa went to walk away but Steve’s hand grabbed her elbow.

She stopped.

Heat radiated up her back as he pressed his chest up against her. “Don’t,” she muttered. He moved around her until he was looking into her eyes. The way only he did.

“I can see you’re not happy. Your eyes give it away they always did. The sparkle the joy it’s missing.”

“I may not be as happy as I once was but I’m content with that.”

“I don’t believe that. You would never settle for second best so why would you now?”

“I told you I can’t go through it again, Steve. I just can’t.”

“But I’ll never do that to you again. I want you and only you.”
            “Steve you said it yourself nothing is forever.” Lisa looked Steve in his eyes for what she assumed would be the last time before walking away. Her eyes burned as tears began to fill in her lids. She wouldn’t let him see her cry. Never again.

Lisa walked inside where Sara had just joined Emma and Devin in front of the landing. Lisa moved by them holding the tears in until she reached the first step. 

Emma could see the despair in Lisa’s face as could Sara. The two girls looked at each other when Steve walked in with defeat radiating off of him. Sara didn’t wait to hear Steve’s side instead she ran up the stairs after Lisa.

“What did you do? What did you say to her?” Emma demanded but before Steve could speak she continued. “Steve you weren’t here. You didn’t have to see how much she suffered. I am finally getting my friend back. Don’t mess it up.” Emma was angry yet more concerned with her friend so she left Steve at the bottom of the stairwell confused and heartbroken.

 However, when Emma got to the top of the staircase she looked down at Steve and left him with some final advice, “Just let her go Steve,” then she was gone. Steve didn’t realize Devin was still standing there. He was too concerned with Lisa.

If he really did break her was it possible for her to ever heal? Or would the wound always be there, a constant reminder of what their love could do to her?

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Do you have a WIP you love, but know that for now it has to stay on the shelf?