~Summer Lost~

It's officially summer, yet for me, it doesn't feel like it. And maybe it's because I'm getting older, and the fact that I spend five days out of the week sitting in an office with no windows, doesn't help either. I miss the way summer used to be. I miss sitting up late under a blanket of stars talking to my friends as the hot humid air stuck to our skin. I miss wasting my days sitting on the beach and riding my bike for hours on end. Though, the thing I miss the most is the feeling. There was always something about summer that ignited excitement and endless possibilities. It was two and a half months of freedom. Anything could happen.

A majority of my teenage experiences took place in summer. My first kiss, my first cigarette, sneaking out for the first time, the first time I got my heartbroken. Not all were good experiences, but they were still experiences. I'm not saying that I wouldn't remember them any less if they didn't take place in the summer it's just that because they did it made my summer's more memorable. And maybe that is why I have a longing desire to recapture those summers lost.

Fourth of July is next week and I have yet to see a firefly. To some of you that might sound like a nothing thing, but to me that is summers signifier. For some people its feeling the sand beneath their toes after months of being confined to shoes or eating a hamburger off the grill. For me it's fireflies. Fireflies make summer official. So, how could Fourth of July already be here?

Is summer never going to be the same again? Should I accept the fact that like most things in life summer was better just because I was younger and had little responsibility? What about you? What makes summer official for you? What do you miss most?