Another rejection added to the pile

So the agent who was interested in seeing more of my work sent me a very honest rejection email yesterday. It hurt for about two minutes and then I sucked it up and now I am more determined then ever. My first chapter was crap and I can see that now. I was so scared of revisions that I just left it that way and now I know that I can't. I wrote a new first chapter, which gives great insight to the characters and now the first chapter that was crap I have rewrote and made it the second chapter. I realized I have a great deal of polishing to do and I am ready for it. I don't want to get published just to get published, no I want to get published because my story is good and people want to read it. Live and learn that's what my mom said to me and she's so right. I have enlisted her as my editor for now since I know she is the only one I can count on to be brutally honest. I rewrite and hand it off and she tells me what "sucks" and what doesn't. I can do this. I know I can.

So enough of me let's move on to what I'm currently reading. I just started Dark Flame, the fourth installment of the Immortals series by Alyson Noel. I'm only thirty pages in and I'm already loving it. I love series when you know the characters so well and you can go on their journey with them. Haven is not cooperating with Ever and I can only imagine how out of control everything is going to get. Very excited. I will fill you in as soon as I finish it which hopefully wil be seen. 

I have off for the next six days and I am ecstatic. My cousin and his girlfriend will be staying at my place, so it's not going to be all lounging on the couch and being lazy but that might be a good thing. So I'm off to writing and revising so until next time bye.  

~My take on Midnight Sun~

It's no secret that I am a fan of the Twilight Series, I am not at all embarrassed to admit to it. The reason I bring this up is because I just read part of an interview that Stephanie Meyer had given on the topic of her unfinished book Midnight Sun, basically it's Twilight but through Edwards eyes instead of the original which is through Bella's eyes. I have read the first two hundred and something pages that she posted for her fans to read since it was supposedly leaked to begin with. I really enjoyed what she had and really hoped she would follow through with the book and finish it. However, in this interview she talks about how she is burned out on Vampires and how the fun has been taken out of Midnight Sun and it feels more like homework. Now call me crazy especially looking at this at a writers point of view, yes writing can be fun creating the story seeing where the characters lead you but after that it is homework. Revising, rereading and trying to make it the best you possibly can. No matter what it is a job and I think as an inspiring writer that that excuse just doesn't cut it. Her fans are eagerly awaiting the finished manuscript and she's just tanking out on us. That's like writing a series and after giving an insight into the next book in the series you decide you no longer want to write it. I don't feel it's fair. I might just be being a fan who is disappointed at her disinterest in completing the manuscript, but I don't think I'm being unreasonable. She went ahead and released The Short Life of Bree Tanner which I bought but quite honestly without the Bella and Edward aspect I'm not sure if I will love it as much. Midnight Sun on the other hand I was hooked on the little bit that I had read and only wanted more. It's such a tease to give us a little and then not follow through with the rest. She has fans who have supported her and who have made her a fortune and with that said may I just say Mrs. Meyer even if you don't finish Midnight Sun for yourself finish it for your fans who have been completely faithful to you. Sometimes work isn't fun, but in the end it will be rewarding.

Friday Night Blogging

Wow, I've been slacking. I finished Hourglass by Claudia Gray over a week ago and have yet to write about it. I just have to say it was a perfect follow up to the two books that came before. However, with that said I can't believe I have to wait until March for the next book. Hourglass ends on such a cliffhanger and such a WTF is going on here that I am dying to know how everything is going to work out. All the characters are back in the third installment of the series and I really enjoyed the progression of the characters as well as how their relationships with the other characters have evolved. I don't want to give anything away to those of you who have not read the books that is why I am being very vague. I highly recommend the series, if you love the Bella and Edward romance of the Twilight series you will fall in love with Lucas and Bianca.

In other so called news I am still waiting to hear back from the agent who requested to see more of my work. I've been obsessively checking my email to the point where it's becoming involuntary. I'll be in the middle of researching on the internet or in the middle of writing and without even skipping a beat there I am logging into my email. I want to be positive and think that this is it for me that it's going to happen but I'd prefr to be at the other side of the spectrum so I'm not disappointed. I'm also at the point where I am just so desperate to hear anything I will settle for a yes or no or a pass or fail. I am probably the most impatient person and this is literally driving me absolutely insane. Hopefully by Monday I will hear something.

I'm now reading the Gossip Girls series. I find it interesting how different the books are from the TV show, but I guess that is the case with most book series turn television show. Blair and Chuck both have brothers in the book, Erik is Serena's older brother oppose to younger as he is in the show. Vanessa practically has a shaved head and goes to Constance and Jenny Humphrey has a size 34D chest. However, I'm finding them to be very easy to read. Unlike Vampire Diaries which I read the first two chapters and couldn't stop comparing it to the TV show. It was so different from the visual I already had in my head I wasn't able to continue. Even though I know one day soon I will read the whole series of Vampire Diaries. 

My book Forever Yours is coming along really well. I wrote another three chapters and I pretty much have the rest figured out. I just have to get it down on paper.  Part 1 is finished and the last chapter of Part 1 took a twist I didn't even know was going to happen. My characters once again brought me in a totally unexpected direction and I love it. It only adds to the drama which this installment of the series is full of. On that note I will end this post with another excerpt, hope you enjoy:

“Li we’re going to change.” Emma said given Lisa the opportunity to be alone with Steve.

“Oh okay sure. I’ll be right there.” Emma, Allison and Sara walked away leaving Lisa sopping wet and alone with Steve. She took the towel Emma had given her and wiped her arms and legs.

“I was just about to go out looking for you guys. Sorry you got stuck walking in the rain.”

“It’s okay. We had some things to work out and then it was actually a lot of fun.” Lisa glimpsed up at Steve. His finger came to her face and he gently wiped a drop of water from her cheekbone causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. She wanted him to take her in his arms, kiss her and make the wretched memories of the past disappear.

“You’re soaked.” He said dimples settling on his cheeks.

“Yeah I am. I should go change.” She didn’t want to leave him. More than anything she wanted to stay there in the foyer with him finally succumbing to her desires to be with him again.

“Yeah I should get back down to Colton. Make sure he doesn’t puke or anything.”

“Yeah you should.” Steve gave her a half hearted smile and went to walk back down the stairs. “Steve!” The words were at the tip of her tongue. Everything she ever wanted to say, to admit were ready to come out.

“Yeah?” His eyes were widened which only made the copper specks glint from the overhead lighting. They were just as amazing as she remembered. Every time she looked into them she was candle wax against a match.  

“I uh. I.  Thanks again.” She chickened out. She couldn’t do it.

“You’re welcome.” And he was gone.

Lisa was left alone in the foyer thinking about what Allison said. How things happen for a reason. Was there a reason she couldn’t get the words out? As usual she had no answers. She went to leave the foyer when her cell phone beeped. After fishing around in her pocket book she flipped it open.

She had a new text message. She was only feet away from every person who would text her. She assumed it was Sara texting to see what was going on. As she clicked the button to view the message her heart stopped. Did everything happen for a reason? And if so was fate stepping in?

Can’t stop thinking about you.

Cameron

  

Another Excerpt from Forever Yours

When she got to the landing she looked out the front door and spotted Steve sitting on the porch steps. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Steve looked up and a sense of relief fell on him happy it wasn’t Renee or George.

“Hey.” He said offering up a smile.

“Hey.” She replied softly.

“Can I sit?”

“Sure.” She sat down beside Steve unable to help remembering how things used to be. So much time had passed and so much had changed it was almost unreal. Lisa was right when she told Steve that she wasn’t the same girl she once was because she wasn’t. However, there was one thing that would never change and that was her desire to see him happy.

“Do you want a cigarette?” He asked.

“Sure.” Steve handed Lisa a cigarette and held his lighter out to her. His hand was only inches from her face and for a brief second she wished she could feel his gentle touch again. A chill shot through her spine at the thought. It was as if she could still sense exactly how his touch once affected her and how the single feel of his hand on her skin made her shudder. Lisa took a drag hoping it would fog her memory. “So it’s kind of crazy.”

“What?”

“Renee and George. I mean who saw that one coming?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Steve you can avoid the topic all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that they are together.”

“I don’t care.”

“You should care.”

“Yeah and why is that?”

“Because my cousin will never get the chance to see his best friend again. He’ll never get to hear his voice or go fishing with him. And you, you can and you choose not to. You’re wrong Steve and you need to stop being so thickheaded. Life’s too short don’t waste anymore time.”

“I’m not thickheaded.”

“Oh yes you are.” Lisa couldn’t stop the laugh that followed.

“I am not.”

“Steve you are about as thickheaded as a mule, but that’s just you. When it comes to your sister’s you wear your heart on your sleeve and you only want the best for them and because of that you become very thickheaded. But there is nothing wrong with that. It’s what makes you such a great person.” Lisa bit her lip a nervous reaction from being so honest.

Steve looked over at her with his dimples setting into place on his cheeks. “Thanks.”

Quick note:

Just finished reading Stargazer by Claudia Gray and I absolutely loved it. So many unexpected twists had me gripping the edge of my chair. Will write more later for now I have to start the third book in the Evernight series Hourglass. I just need to know what is going to happen. Haven't been this into a book since well the Twilight Series and Kelley Armstrongs Darkest Powers Series. There is nothing better than getting completely consumed into the characters and their stories.

Synopsis Done!

I finished my synopsis finally. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I know the story so well I could tell it in my sleep. The hardest part was narrowing it down from 277 pages to only 5 but I managed and finished at 4.5 pages. I think it's good. I hope it's good. My mom said it is. Even though she's in New Hampshire on a weeks vacation she let me email it to her and last night she called to go over it with me. I'm realy lucky to have such a great mom. It's true how we think it, but never say it enough. Well I'm going to state right now I have the best parents and that's what gives me the drive to keep going because for all they have done for me in the end I just want them to be proud of me.

I need to get back to revising and hopefully getting some writing done today. Actually one last thing I'm on twitter now and I follow many writers and am amazed at how many hours a day they put into their writing. I just saw a post "been writing for ten hours need a break." I can't keep my mind focused for that long. Is that a bad thing? I wonder if it's something you learn to do over time. Like you force yourself to do it so many times that after a while you're trained and you no longer have to force it upon yourself. I mean I love to write and when the idea is there I can go on and on but ten hours? Really?

Also started reading Stargazer by  Claudia Gray only a chapter or two in but the first book has left me wanting more so I'm sure I will breeze through it soon enough. Ok back to work now.

Another excerpt from Forever Yours:

“Hey.” She was suddenly shy. Colton looked up at her and it finally set in what Lisa said. Tread lightly I don’t think he ‘s stable. Lisa was right. Sara had never seen Colton look as awful as he did on the floor in Lisa’s room hugging a bottle of vodka.
“Hey.” He said never looking up at her. Sara took the same approach as Lisa and sat beside Colton on the floor.

“I miss my friend.” Sara said hoping Colton would respond, but he didn’t. “Colt talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” He said in a tone Sara never heard in his voice before. His words were like a bat and her heart a piece of glass that shattered on contact.

“Why not?” Sara decided she had to be strong. It wasn’t Colton she was dealing with, it was someone else, someone who was holding Colton captive. “Look me in the eye and tell me why not.” Sara said as she turned her body towards Colton until she was sitting directly in front of him.

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because I don’t love you! I don’t even like you and I don’t want to get your hopes up that there might be something between us because there never will be.” Sara didn’t flinch. She knew it wasn’t Colton talking she knew he didn’t mean what he had said. She got up from where she was sitting and swiped the bottle of vodka out of his hand.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you are doing. You are pushing me away just like I did to you. And let me tell you something, you can push all you want but I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you whether you want me to be or not because I do love you and honestly I don’t give a shit what you say.” Sara walked out of Lisa’s room slamming the door behind her.

I guess you can say I am excited.

I'm so excited! Look I'm using exclamation points. I just got an email from an agents that is interested in seeing more of my project. YAY! I can't get top excited since he has only read my query and for all I know he may hate the first three chapters of my book. I also have to send a synopsis which I have yet to write and quite frankly have no idea how to even get started. So of course I am wasting time by blogging but I'm going to stop now and begin work on my synopsis. I just had to tell someone especially since my mom is on vacation and doesn't seem to want to answer her cell phone.

"Evernight" by Claudia Gray

I just finished reading Evernight by Claudia Gray and I just have to say finally, finally a book that sucked me in completely. I didn't want to put it down. I wanted to know what would happen next. Several twists and turns and unexpected situations really made this book a page turner. What I loved the most was it wasn't your typical vampire book. It was different yet to me the relationship was more reminiscent of Buffy and Angel, two people madly in love no matter how wrong it may be. The only thing I would not complain about but not necessarily like is that the feelings developed way too fast for me. Granted teenagers tend to fall head over heels instantly I felt this needed a little more build up or interaction between the two characters before such intense feelings were felt. I think of Twilight in this aspect and granted Bella and Edward did fall for each other quickly I still think there was more of a build up and you as the reader were apart of that. However, once you get further into the story it doesn't really matter how quickly they fell for each other so that is why it's not a big deal.

I like all of the characters. Lucas to me is the guy most girls like, the badass who always seems to be getting himself in trouble but as a girl you can see there is more to him then the badass exterior and in his case there definitely is. Bianca is likeable and being the voice of the book is definitely a good thing. She threw me for a surprise (spoiler alert) during her first kiss with Lucas. I almost forgot the book was about vampires since until that part there really was no mention of them other then Dracula. That was probably one of my favorite parts of the book. Also when she found Lucas in the antique shop at the end and the whole lead up until his mom walked into their hotel room. Balthazar I like too and I just have a strange hunch that there will be more to come of him in the next book. Raquel I'm waiting for her to figure out what Evernight really is because from the very beginning she has been suspicious and I'm just waiting for something to click for her. I have the second book Stargazer but I'm scared if I start reading I won't be able to stop and considering it's 11A.M. and I still haven't got dressed for the day I think I should hold off. However as soon as I finish reading I will let you know what I think.

If you want to check out Evernight I would highly recommend it and you know if you read the first book you have to continue on with the series. Which reminds me I have to buy the third installment in the Evernight series:

Today I recieved another rejection email and while this whole time I've been numb to the rejections this time it actually hurt a little. For some reason this particular agency I had a good feeling when sending out my query but obviously that good feeling was for nothing. I sent out another five queries today and hopefully I will hear some good news. Like I always say it's just another step in the process and I will continue writing until my fingers can no longer type.

I've read another sixty pages of Evernight hopefully tonight I can finish it. I have every intention of doing so. So far so good. I will go into it further when I actually finish the book. An ending of a book even if it is part of a series can kill an entire book for me. The best example of this is Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. I have never been so mad at the way a book ended and I kept saying he has to make a sequel. Not to mention he always kills someone off in his books and the one time you want him to do so he doesn't. As mean as that sounds it's how I honestly felt.

I'll leave you with another excerpt from my book Forever Yours:

“It would get boring and you know it would. Eventually you would be begging for days filled with drama. Drama keeps things exciting.” No sooner than Emma let those words flow from her lips they heard a commotion taking place just on the other side of the fence. Emma looked at Lisa with curious eyes and then they both jumped up eager to see what was going on.

As they approached the fence Lisa could hear Steve’s voice loud and clear. Once they made their way onto the other side of the fence they could see Mark holding Steve back as Steve viciously tried to get out of Mark’s monster grip.

Across from Mark and Steve was George who was cowardly hiding behind Renee. Steve was now yelling at Mark to let him go. Lisa looked at him his face was filled with rage his eyes boiling with anger. Lisa knew as soon as Mark lost his hold Steve would attack and Renee was his little sister they went at it all the time he wouldn’t care if he pushed passed her. So Lisa did the only thing she could think of. She stood in between the two opposing sides with her arms out to them. Steve wouldn’t lunge at George if she was standing there he would never do anything that could potentially get her hurt.

“What the hell is going on here?” Emma finally spoke as Lisa took her position.

“George is a dead man as soon as I get to him.” Steve continued to try and free himself from Mark’s grip but he couldn’t. Lucky for George Mark was an all state wrestling champion and he had his holds down to a science.

“No he’s not. I’ll kill you first.” Renee spit back. George was still crouching behind Renee which was quite pathetic since she was all of five foot and he was teetering towards six.

“That’s not explaining anything.” Emma yelled out.

“Steve!” Lisa demanded his attention. Her arms fell to her sides and she looked him in the eyes. His seething calmed and his eyes cooled as he looked back at her. “What’s going on?” As Steve composed himself Mark felt it was safe to let him go so he did but he still stayed close just in case.

“I don’t know exactly. But what I do know is I come home from fishing and I find my baby sister making out with my so called best friend.”

“What?” Emma yelled out her attention now on Renee. Lisa’s eyes displayed her disbelief but she had to stay focused or Steve would definitely kill George.

“Renee is this true?” Lisa turned her head but kept her body in place to continue the separation between the two sides.

“Yeah so what? We’re seeing each other.” Renee said it in her typical so matter of factly way.

“How long has this been going on?” Emma asked.

“Since Easter.”

“Since Easter?!?!?” Emma yelled out. Lisa turned and saw the rage beginning to boil in Steve’s eyes again.

“Well Mark and Steve were away at school and you’re always so busy with Devin now, and Kristin’s been helping her grandma out around the house and I really didn’t have anyone so we started hanging out with each other and one thing just led to another.”

“Since Easter?” Emma reiterated.

“I love her.” George poked his head out from behind Renee before yelling out to Steve.

“No you don’t.” Steve yelled back.

“Yes he does and I love him too.” Renee shrieked. Everyone was in complete and utter shock. It had been going on for months and no one picked up on it.

“You don’t know what love is. You’re too young.”

“Oh and like you do? Because if you really knew what love is you wouldn’t have thrown it away like you did.” Steve dropped his head too ashamed to look anyone in the eyes. Lisa knew she had to stop this back and forth bickering. She couldn’t stand in between Steve and Renee and George forever.

Lisa turned back to Steve. His head was still hung but she continued to look towards him and then his eyes found hers effortlessly as if they belonged together. The rage was still evident on his face but at the sight of Lisa the rage faded and disappointment became dominant.

“So what if there dating?” She finally said as calmly and as reasonable as she possibly could.

“She’s my little sister and he’s well he’s supposed to be one of my best friends.”

“Things happen you can’t deny feelings. Look at us for example. You’re Emma’s brother and she’s my best friend and that didn’t stop us.”

“Yeah and look how well that turned out.” Steve snapped and instantly regretted the words that came out. The tension had faded around them but now every person involved had their attention focused on Steve. Steve looked at the shock and disbelief on everyone’s face and knew it no longer had to do with Renee and George but with him.

Lisa’s eyes glassed over. She went to speak but words didn’t come instead she walked away. Abandoning her post as peacemaker.

“Lisa I didn’t mean it that way.” Steve attempted to explain but it was useless.

“Nice. Real nice.” Emma said to Steve and then took off after Lisa.

Lisa ran out of the yard and down the street. She sat on the side of the road just as she did on the day that Steve broke up with her. The pain she was feeling was as if he broke up with her all over again. He made it seem that what they had wasn’t worth anything at all. The tears poured over her lids and she sobbed into her hands.

Lisa felt an arm come around her shoulders just as she did a year ago. It was Emma comforting her and being the best friend that she could be. Emma handed Lisa a lit cigarette and she looked up at her with a smile. Lisa took the orange of the filter in between her lips and took a drag. Lisa could always count on Emma.

“You ok?” Emma asked.

“I will be.”

“I guess we can forget about all that talk earlier of me saying how you still had feelings for him. I mean how could you? He’s an asshole.”

“Yeah. He is.” Lisa said unconvincingly.

Lisa wanted to hate Steve. It would make things easier, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how much pain he had caused her, she couldn’t. The fact was she didn’t hate him at all. Not even a little bit. She was still in love with him.

Lightening Bugs & Scattered Thunderstoms

Last night as I walked out of my apartment and out into the night I saw the one thing that marks the beginning of summer, lightening bugs. They were all around me fluttering and blinking and just the sight of their small flash of light put the biggest smile on my face. It is now officially summer and I so desperately want to sit on the beach, book in hand with not a care in the world. Unfortunately for me they are predicting scattered thunderstorms so I am going to have to wait a little longer until I can.


I finished reading Early to Death Early to Rise by Kim Harrison. I don't think I have wrote about it yet but if I have sorry if I repeat myself. I liked this book much better then the first book. It's a continuation of the first book starting right where the second one left off and at this point you know the story and it's easier to understand. However, I wish the boy Josh from the first book would have had more of a part in the second book but I'm sure there will be a third and he'll be back possibly with another boy. Possible love triangle I'm assuming. I'm now reading Evernight by Claudia Gray. I read forty pages in a half hour, I really like it so far, my type of book for sure.




Even though I have a ton of books I have yet to start reading I went to the book store yesterday and purchased more. I have a sick obsession.

Each of the above recieved great reviews so I'm hoping I won't be disappointed. I love the Twilight Series and The Short Life of Bree Tanner while apart of the series I'm afraid I may not like it as much. I mean there is no Edward and Bella romance and that is what makes the books so enjoyable and addicting. However, I'm not going to judge until I read it and when I do I will let you know what I think.

As far as the search for an agent goes I'm still coming up empty. I no longer get a rejection a day but nothing and honestly I don't know what is worse. I actually was happy to get the rejections since I felt I wasn't ignored or discarded I was considered enough for them to tell me it's just not their taste. Sounds dumb I know but hey it made me happy to think that way. Now though with no answers, no emails it's kind of depressing. I need to send out more queries but I am running out of agents of Writersmarket.com I'm going to have to find a new resource. Anywho I am working on both my books The Hallways of Hell and Forever Yours and I also started writing a screenplay. Yes I am all over the place but that is how I work. There is always a method to my madness and without my madness I wouldn't be me.

I guess I will end this with another excerpt from my book Forever Yours:

“Your heart was in it with us and I broke it and now you’re scared to open up again. That’s why you won’t let me back in? Why you shot me down on Thanksgiving?” Steve stopped walking again and looked Lisa straight in her eyes.
“What are we supposed to do? Go back to the way things were? We can’t. It’ll never be the same. Too much has happened. I’m not that love struck fifteen year old girl anymore. You don’t even know who I am.”
“I know exactly who you are, because I know somewhere deep down inside of you is a love struck fifteen year old girl dying to come out. And there is a love struck seventeen year old boy inside of me wishing he could make things right again so he can get back the girl he is so madly in love with.” Steve moved closer to Lisa ready to take her in his arms, ready to do away with the gap he caused between them.
“That just may be the case, but there is also a sixteen year old girl inside of me who will never forget the pain you caused.” Lisa gave Steve a look that summed it all up. He destroyed any chance for them when he ended things and especially when he decided to let months pass before he came after her. Steve was defeated again. Lisa gave him one last look and then she walked away leaving him alone on the beach. She always knew how to say and do just the right thing to leave him with little or no hope.

I don't know what's worse getting a rejection a day or getting nothing at all. It's all part of the game. I have put Forever Yours on the back burner for right now while I work on The Hallways of Hell. I have a really good feeling about this book and it's developing really nicely. However, I can't help but miss the characters from the Forever Series. I have been writing about them for close to a year now and I know I have to finish what I have started but I figured a little break can't hurt. Anywho I don't know if I mentioned I finished reading Kim Harrison's "Once Dead Twice Shy" and I have to admit in the beginning I was very confused. The story starts in the middle and then back tracks in a way in order to fill the reader in on the gaps. The last thirty pages finally pulled me in and her second book "Early to Death Early to Rise" continues right where the first book leaves off. I'm enjoying the second book much more since I can understand the story and the characters much better. Hopefully I can finish up by tomorrow only have a 100 pages left to read. After that my mom passed on to me "Evernight" vy Claudia Gray which I am very excited to start reading. My mom really enjoyed it and said it was my type of book. It's also part of a series though so hopefully she reads the second book quickly so I can read one right into the other.

Here's another (pretty long) excerpt from Forever Yours:

Mark stared after Steve at first trying to figure out why he blew off a girl who obviously was interested in him but when he saw Lisa there was nothing more he had to figure out.
Steve slowly approached Lisa. He enjoyed watching her while she was in her element. She had a way of lining up a picture just right that he found intriguing. A seagull trying it’s hardest to fly away with a half eaten apple had caught her attention. Steve watched as she crouched down and zoomed in on the seagull.
Lisa’s brown hair cascaded down her shoulders when she leaned forward to get a little closer. The seagull didn’t seem to care nor did it care when Steve made his way up towards it. Steve’s shadow stretched out over the seagull and into Lisa’s viewfinder. Lisa took the camera from her eye and glanced up to see who was coming up beside her. Their eyes met instantly and Steve could tell she was in complete shock.
Steve had to think quick. “Hey.” He needed to come up with more then that. “Um I finished mowing the lawn and Mark stopped by and asked if I wanted to go to the beach and I really had nothing else to do so I figured why not.” An explanation wasn’t needed but he felt he had to give one.
“So where’s Mark?” Lisa asked still a bit stunned.
“Over there talking to those two girls. I saw you and wanted to come over and say hi.”
“Those girls didn’t pique your interest enough?” Lisa said with a carefree tone and he knew she was joking.
“You’re much more interesting then some girl who’s too concerned with her nails then anything else.” Lisa looked down at her nails as Steve mentioned it. Her nails desperately needed to be painted since they only had remnants of hot pink nail polish in the center of each. Steve preferred that over some over manicured over tanned girl but she didn’t know that so she positioned her hands so her nails were out of his sight.
“So did you get any good shots?” Steve assumed if they talked about something she enjoyed it would be less awkward.
“Actually I did. Would you like to look at some?”
“Yeah sure.” He tried to keep from sounding to over zealous. Lisa moved closer to him holding her camera so the screen was facing up at them. She started to scroll through the pictures stopping on the ones she deemed her favorites. Each picture seemed to be perfectly orchestrated with the light falling in just the right place and the subject matter interestingly positioned. “These are great.
“Thanks.”
“No really they are. You’re really talented.”
“Sometimes I think it’s just the camera.”
“No it’s more then the camera. The camera doesn’t line up the shot you do and the camera doesn’t decide what it’s taken a picture of you do that too. The camera just stores what you create.”
“I never looked at it that way.”
“Have you thought about this as more then a hobby?”
“I’ve pushed around the idea of after high school going to NYU possibly majoring or minoring in photography.” Steve was surprised never did she mention NYU when they were together then again she really didn’t need to think about college.
“You should go for it.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely.”
“Maybe I will.” She said then there was silence between the two of them. The only noise was of the people chattering around them and the waves of the ocean crashing down on the shore. “I should head back before Emma sends out the park police to find me.”
“I can walk back with you.”
“Um, I don’t.”
“Come on it’s just a walk.”
“Ok but I have to warn you we are along way from where the girls are.”
“I don’t mind. Let me just tell Mark and we’ll go.” Steve turned from Lisa ready to walk back to Mark when Mark spotted him. Steve pointed to Lisa and Mark waved him on. Mark might have been all about Steve leaving Lisa so they could have the college experience together but after Mark got what he wanted he realized it wasn’t what he wanted at all. His friend was even more miserable, granted he did his best to hide it but some things just can’t be hidden.
Steve turned back to Lisa his hand went towards hers when he suddenly realized friends, if that’s what they were, didn’t hold hands. He put his hands back at his side and started to walk. Lisa was right beside him as they made their way down the beach. They walked along the shoreline, where the sand was wet but flatter and easier to walk on.
“So how’s your summer going so far?” Lisa asked.
“It’s been good nothing compared to last summer but they can’t all be great.” Steve couldn’t help but reference their last summer together.
“Yeah they can’t, can they?” Steve continued to talk and eventually the talking led to joking around and it started to feel like it used to, just the two of them together, happy and laughing with each other. Steve wanted so bad to intertwine his hand with hers but he didn’t want to cross the line at least not yet.
“I’ve missed talking to you.” Steve said and Lisa’s eyes darted up to his. “It’s weird you know? You were always there and one day you weren’t.”
“Yeah and whose fault was that?” The carefree and loving Lisa was fading and he needed to get her back.
“I know. I didn’t realize how weird it actually was until a day after our last phone conversation. I was having an awful day you know the type of day where everything goes wrong? Well the first thing I thought to do was call you since you always managed to make me feel better, but I realized I didn’t have the luxury of talking to you anymore.” He looked at Lisa she had stopped walking. He wanted her to know that he was just as miserable as she was even if it didn’t do anything he still needed her to know. “And when it would snow I would think of how cute you looked all bundled up and how the tip of your nose always got red. The worst part was at night when I was lying in bed I would think of you and wonder if you were thinking of me too.” Steve wanted Lisa to respond, wanted her to admit to him what he already knew.
“I um…” Before Lisa could let the words roll off of her tongue she was swooped up in the air and spinning in a circle but it wasn’t Steve who was holding her. Steve looked on confused and slightly ticked that this guy, whoever he was, just ruined his moment.
“Cameron?” Lisa said with disbelief in her voice, Steve was relieved he wasn’t the only one feeling that way. Cameron placed Lisa on the ground and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“I didn’t think I would see you again.” He said. “I know we left things off as being over but I kept hoping I’d see you again. It’s so good to see you.”
So this is Cameron. Steve thought to himself. Great. He had to be good looking didn’t he? Shouldn’t he be posing for an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog somewhere?

My take on the Broadway Play American Idiot.

On Sunday I went to see American Idiot on Broadway and I just have to say I absolutely loved it. I laughed, smiled, bobbed my head to the music and even came close to shedding a tear or two. I love Green Day and I have since third grade. I bought their cassette tape and played it over and over until it no longer worked. As musicians I think they have grown a great deal and have experienced so much and because of this their current hits hold an enormous amount of realism, advice and understading. The play had barely any dialogue but because their lyrics hold so much meaning dialogue isnt necessary.

I watched a mother walk out with her (to guess) ten year old daugter and I also watched two older men walk out. Why, I have no idea. Before you even enter the theatre itself there are signs everywhere explaining explicit drug use will be shown. I don't understand how people can be offended by this play since it is reality. Every day there is another person falling into the habit of drug use, every day a person leaves home in search of their dreams and every day a person realizes that sometimes your dreams don't come true. That is the basis of American Idiot and for people to be offended by this is mind boggling to me. I can relate to every aspect of the play and I think any teenager or twenty something year old will be able to as well. I saw the play with my mom and said this to her and she agreed but she also said that she could relate to every aspect because it was remenscent of when she grew up during the Vietnam War. It just shows that some things don't change. War is still very much apart of our lives as is the search for who you are and the obstacles you have to face in order to find yourself. I guess what I am trying to say is if you have the opportunity to go see American Idiot jump on it and go in with an open mind and realize that they are not sugar coating a thing. It is as real as it gets.

Does Rejection Ever Get Easy?

On Saturday I was on a mission. I went on Writersmarket.com and sent out more query letters. I sent out about 5 or 6 since that's all I could find currently within the Young Adult genre. I have already got three rejections, one of them was from a prior query though so two from this last batch. I've kind of become numb from it. I just assume it's going to be a "We read your query and it's not what we are looking for but good luck in your endeavors." They all say the same. All wishing you luck but are just not interested in what you have. It sucks. I just want to be able to say "An agent actually wants to read my full manuscript" I'll be more then happy to settle for a partial read. Heck I'd be thrilled to hear something other then thanks but no thanks.

I want to write the ideas are there the stories are started but I'm getting discouraged and beginning to wonder for what? Even though I will continue to write no matter what happens as far as getting an agent and published but at the current moment I just don't have the drive. I love to write, I love to research and I love combining the two aspects together and I only hope I can make a career out of it. Then again not everyone gets their dream job. I'll keep trying though. I'm not going to give up so easily. No way and no how.

I'm done venting once again and now I will leave you with another excerpt from Forever Yours:

“There she is.” Emma pointed to Devin’s mom who was getting in her car. They had parked a few houses away to stay inconspicuous and as soon as Devin’s mom got in her car and pulled away Emma began to follow. Emma made sure to stay far enough behind that Devin’s mom would not get suspicious. She had picked up on small important details from spending the summer with Devin following Bill around town. She felt slightly guilty that Devin wasn’t with her but if her hunch was right then him not being with her was best.
“She just turned.” Lisa said joining in on the pursuit. Emma turned slowly making sure not to get too close.
“Can you read the sign?” Emma asked since she was focused on driving and not able to do both.
“Yeah.”
“And what does it say?”
OB GYN.” Lisa said and Emma gasped. “That doesn’t mean she’s… well it could mean she’s just going to get, you know an annual check-up.”
“You have to go in.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re going in. You have to. Please? I don’t ask you for anything, if you can just do this for me.” Emma pleaded her case and now Lisa really looked at her as if she was crazy.
“I don’t think so.” Lisa wanted no part of Emma’s new plan.
“Li please. I just need to know. If there was something you wanted answers to I would be the first in line to find a way to get them for you.”
“I do have one question.”
“Anything.”
“Does he talk about me? Steve?” Lisa never wanted to ask. She wanted to live with blinders thinking it would be easier to forget about him if she didn’t know but after seeing the sticker and seeing him a few nights back she had to know.