Closet Cleaning and Editing.

Last week I began to clean out my closet. For some people this may be a nothing thing. Something they do once a year. For me this never happens. My boyfriend tells me I hoard clothes. He once told me he was going to come home to an avalanche of clothes on the closet floor and I'd be under it, an Ugg boot sticking out. I always told him he was overreacting until I dove in head first, literally. I tripped over a pocketbook and went tumbling in. The disaster I was faced with seemed much worse from the disaster I was pretending it not to be. I have a picture. I'm a little mortified by it, but we're all friends here.

This is one tiny section. My closet is six and a half by five and a half. A dream come true to a girl who grew up in a bedroom that was only nine by nine. However, my amazing closet I couldn't wait to have, isn't doing any good for me by being completely filled to the brim with clothes I should have thrown out a long time ago. The avalanche of jeans at the top consist of forty five pairs. Yes forty five pairs of jeans and this does not include dress pants, skirts, corduroys, shorts, capris, cargo pants, you get the picture. I have jeans from seventh grade. My excuse: they still fit. But just because they fit doesn't mean I should keep them.

Three garbage bags later, and I will admit not one single pair of jeans made it into those bags, and I walked away for the day. I got to the point where I was saying things like, "But I just got rid of so much, I can keep this." "It might come back in style." "It'll fit me again one day." I've been saying this for years. I have a hard time letting go. I hold on to everything. I'm afraid of change and I'm afraid to just give in to my instincts. But when I tossed (donated) three garbage bags full of clothes I felt amazing. I was so relieved to just get rid of the stuff that has been weighing down the vision of my perfect closest. It was liberating and now I have room for clothes that I want to wear instead of clothes I look at and know I will never choose. You're probably wondering what does this have to do with writing. A lot actually.

I've been editing a few of my manuscripts and I've come to realize I edit the way I clean out my closet. I'm so scared to scrap an entire page, can't even think of an entire chapter, I hold back and make excuses for why I think it works just because I'm terrified of deleting something I worked so hard on. The funny thing. I know I'm not doing myself any favors. I know if I give in and go for it, the outcome will be satisfying and I will be so pleased with it. So why am I still holding back?

I need to change my mindset. If something doesn't fit or if something doesn't make you look your best get rid of it. It clears out the mediocre and clears the way for the spectacular.I need to keep repeating this.

The pair of jeans that I left in my closet because hey maybe they will fit me better one day is the same thing as me leaving the paragraph that does nothing for my story. Just because it sounds pretty or I remember writing it, doesn't mean it should stay. It's so easy to say it. The hard part is following through and actually hitting that delete button. I'm going to work on it.

What's your editing style? Do you hit delete with a vengeance? Or are you like me? Scared to let go?