I DID IT!!

I did it! I actually did it. I have to say that for a second there I really didn't think I would. And now that I did, I am relieved and ecstatic. This was a book that I have wanted to write for a very long time but never thought I'd be able to pull it off. Now 50,000 words+ I think I did. I just need to finish it up and then edit like crazy.

Good luck to all of you that are still pounding away on those keys. As to those that have finished I raise a glass to you, yes I am about to pour myself a very large glass of wine, Congrats, we did it!

November Wrap Up

November has been a very busy month. Between Thanksgiving, NaNo, Christmas popping up everywhere, I've been swamped. My mind is a jumbled mess. So today I'm just going to wrap up my November.

I am so close to reaching 50,000 words. I have exactly 4,619 words and two days left. I've always worked better under pressure so I'm not really worried about it. What I am worried about is going back to edit. But I'll worry about it when I get there. How about your month of writing? Are you happy with the outcome so far?

I think I read one book this month. Vixen by Jillian Larkin. (One of these days I'll write a review) That's the thing I miss the most. Cuddling up on the couch with a good book and losing myself in the character's world. I plan on catching up on all my reading this winter.

I wasn't going to write about this but what the heck. 11/11/2011 was said to be one of the luckiest days. At 11:11 everyone said to make a wish. So at 11:11 on 11/11/2011 I sat in my office at work and made my wish. I wished for an agent. I'm a writer what do you expect? I'm not even kidding you when I say that two hours later I received a request to read my full manuscript. I was ecstatic of course. I really began to believe in the hoopla. Then an hour later I lost my job. I was laid off. After dedicating ten years of my life to this company, I had nothing. Not even a good luck or a thank you for all that I had done. Nothing. I found a box went in my office and packed up ten years worth of my life.  I was upset. I was angry. I think more than anything I was disappointed. Ten years is a very long time. I started there when I was just sixteen. I basically grew up with these people and they didn't even have the decency to say goodbye. That hurt. I always looked at the people I worked with for those ten years as family and I felt like they all turned their backs on me. But like I've always heard, in the end you know who your true friends are. And now I do.

I cried. I won't lie. At first I didn't and then when I thought about Christmas I lost it. Buying gifts is my thing. I have been buying gifts for every person in my family, mom, dad, brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, everyone, since I was six. My birthday is December 4th and my birthday money was always put towards getting these gifts. I rarely spent my birthday money on myself. Now this year things are tight. I can't spend like I usually do and that upsets me. I know Christmas isn't about the gifts, but seeing the face of a person you love light up when they open something you gave them that is my favorite part of Christmas. Once I wiped away the tears I realized I could still get that reaction I just have to do it on a budget. 

My best friend told me, it was a blessing in disguise. I couldn't agree with her more. It was a company where you had no room to grow. I spent 30,000 dollars on a college education and it is about time I use that degree. I also have a lot of time on my hands now and that means I can write all day and I can read whenever I want. While I'm looking for a job I am going to enjoy the time I have to myself. I have worked full time since I was sixteen while also balancing a full time education. In the ten years I worked at this company I called in sick maybe three times. There were days where I was sent home sick by my boss but I never called out. If I was scheduled to work I felt obligated to be there.

I worked from 8am to 6pm every Saturday for nine years. Do you know how many people have parties on Saturdays? And do you know how many I missed? I missed my best friend's kids birthday parties and even a christening or two. I missed friends and family member's birthday/anniversary/graduation parties all because I had to work. Not anymore. I spent nine years disappointing my family and friends all because of my job and I'm not going to do that anymore. I've missed out on so much and for what? In the end it was for nothing.

So 11/11/2011 might not have turned out the way I had hoped, but I honestly believe it was a lucky day. I'm free. For the first time in ten years I can do whatever it is that I want to do. It's scary, especially for a person who hates change, but at the same time it's exciting. I can't wait to see what's next.

How was your November?

Week 4 I Love Dark YA Blogfest: YASAVES

This weeks Dark YA Blogfest topic is: #YASAVES—Blog about how a dark YA book made an impact in your life. I actually wrote a post about this a few months ago and you can read it here. I think this is a great topic and can't wait to read what everyone else writes.

I've got Crap

I am at that point. You know the point. The one where you think everything that you are writing is crap. Yup, I have officially arrived. I was so gung ho in the beginning, but once I got to 25,000 words it turned to crap. Now I'm at 29,000 and I feel like everything I have written is crap. As you can see there is a whole lot of crap. It is so frustrating. I want to write and I had this whole plan but now my goals seem to be slipping away.

I got to one point in my WIP where I just got stuck and if you've read previous posts you know it's not the first time. This time though I didn't know where to go and what exactly I wanted to happen, so I added more drama to a drama ridden story. So now I"m wondering is there such thing as too much drama? Ahhhhhh! Okay I feel better now.

And if that's not enough to weigh heavy on my mind, I start thinking okay well I can wrap it up soon and bring it all together, but I'm only on page 115 and I'm only at 29,000 words, I need at least 30,000 more to go. Maybe I should just stop thinking. That might actually be my best bet.

Okay. I'm sorry for my mini freak out. Hope NaNo is going much better for everyone else. Would love to hear updates. Leave them in the comments.

Lesson Learned

As I cheered for all of you to keep writing I stopped writing. In the past two days I have written a total of 26 words. I could equate it to many things. It hasn't exactly been the best last few days, but my mind has finally cleared and I sat down in front of my computer, just like I have been doing for the past two days, and finally it clicked.

I was working on a chapter that had a lot happen within a page or two and I had no idea where to go from there. I knew where I wanted to go after that chapter, but that chapter I was blank. The chapter was only five pages long and I kept thinking it needs more. Once I came back to it with a clear head I realized, no it doesn't need more. It needed a sentence to wrap it up and that was it. You don't need to add unnecessary words to a chapter just to make it longer. Once you get to the point you are trying to make, wrap it up. There is no need to drag it out. Lesson learned. Besides when I go back to revise if something needs to be added I can do it then.

Have any of you had this problem? Stressing out over what a chapter needs only to realize it's fine the way it is and you just need to move on to the next?

Now back to it. Happy Writing.

~Weekend Post~

How's NaNo going for everyone? I'm here to cheer you on. Think of me as your personal cheerleader, except I don't do the uniform and pom poms. Sorry. I will, however, be here for moral support and tough love. If you need a push to get past the writer's block I will be more than happy to shove :) Pretty funny considering I was stuck for a day or two. At first I was like, No! How can I be stuck? It was going so well. I was pumping out words like Henry Ford pumped out cars, but it happened. So instead of stressing over it I took it as my brain telling me to take some time and relax. I finished reading a book I have been reading forever. Started reading a new book. Caught up on all my favorite TV shows and didn't think about where my characters are going to go and what is going to happen next. All I needed was a day of pushing it aside to get right back on track.

So if you are stuck, don't stress. You just need to give your brain a little breather. Go out for a walk, watch a movie, call an old friend, have a drink :) and when you go back you will have a clear mind and will be ready to pound away on your keyboard.

The chapters that were giving me a hard time is a key point in the book and I want to share with you the pictures I used for inspiration. (If you haven't figured it out by now I"m obsessed with photos)

Some of My Favorite Fall Pics

Between NaNo and my obsession with Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle (And if you watch I would love to hear your thoughts on last nights episodes) I don't have a post for today. So I thought I would share with you some of my favorite fall pictures. Enjoy: 

I'm Brilliant! No. Not really.

Have you ever had an amazing idea that you can't wait to start writing but once you do you start noticing your idea everywhere? And when I say everywhere I mean books, TV shows, commercials, magazine ads, blogs, movies. I feel like this happens to me all the time.

When I finished writing Uncharted Territory, a story about a homeless boy who ran away from the foster care system, I turned on one of my favorite television shows, Pretty Little Liars, only to see Caleb, a homeless boy appear. My boyfriend happened to be sitting in the room on his computer this day and he turned to me and said, "Didn't you just write something like that?" *Insert ten minute long rant here*

Just recently I was trying to come up with a title to another WIP when I came up with a title I really liked so I put it on the list of possible contenders. A week later I was hopping around the blogosphere and found a post from a debut author announcing her book cover and low and behold the title I thought I was so brilliant to come up with was staring back at me. *Attacking possible contender list with a red pen*

My current WIP as most of you already know takes place in the 1920's. I decided to read Vixen by Jillian Larkin just to see how she handled the time era. It is completely different from what I am writing but the further I get into the book I'm starting to notice a few similarities. Not many, but one or two that had me going, "Oh". I guess it's normal considering it takes place during the same time period, but it's giving me reservations. I've seen people get rejected from agents solely based on the fact that their work while great is too similar to something else. As if there wasn't enough to worry about.

So what I've learned is that you may think you're brilliant and you have a great idea, but there are a hundred people if not more out there with the same idea. I'm coming to accept it because regardless I have this idea in my head and if I don't get it on paper the characters are never going to shut up.

Has this happened to you? I'd love to hear some examples?

I Love Dark Ya Blogfest Week 2

It's Wednesday and that means it is time for this weeks I Love Dark Ya Blogfest post. This week we had to write a 500 word of less flash fiction piece inspired by the picture of the girl posted below. Now I write books. Writing flash fiction or even a short story I find more challenging than writing three hundred pages. So this is my attempt at writing flash fiction. Be gentle I'm a newbie :) 

Lies. It was all lies. Sean betrayed her. If she stuck around instead of taking off into the woods she probably would have seen him holding the knife. The one he used to stab her in the back.

She didn’t need to see the blood running down its blade to know the boy she thought loved her was only using her as a pawn in his game.

He told her he loved her. Told her she was the only girl for him. When in reality he was sleeping with the enemy, Stacey, the girl who made a habit of ripping out her happiness from beneath her.

The vision of his face seared her heart. How could she be so stupid? She was a nobody and he was charming and strikingly handsome, but she believed in fairy tales and he was her Prince Charming. She should have listened to her mother all those years ago when she told her Fairy Tales were child’s play.

Her mother, the woman who lived to destroy Becca’s dreams was right. No boy would love her. After all she was the reason her father left. She was six the last time she saw him.

According to her mother she was too much to handle and he couldn’t be the father he thought she needed so he left. He left her to be her mother’s scapegoat. Placing blame on Becca was easier than admitting that maybe she too had a hand in his departure.

Sean’s betrayal would only aid in her mother’s delusions. Becca was alone. A girl incapable of receiving love.

A break in the clouds shone bright rays through the trees. She lifted her arm to block the light. Light was happy and she was miserable. She wished for the grey skies to return when she heard the breaking of twigs behind her.

Her body froze in fear. He wouldn’t have followed her. He made it very clear in front of the entire cafeteria that she was nothing. It was all a set up to watch her crash and burn. Then he hugged Stacey while the rest of her classmates pointed and laughed.

No he wouldn’t have followed her.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. “Becca,” his voice drifted into her ears like a familiar song. Slowly he turned her until her eyes were looking into the boy who always caught her when she fell. Brett.  

“Don’t cry,” he said swiping his finger under her eye.

She went to talk, but the words wouldn’t come. A sheet of glass formed in her eyes and when he took her in his arms the glass shattered. Tears streamed down her cheeks, leaving wet pools on his white shirt.

No matter what. No matter how hard life got and no matter how many times her mother reminded her that no boy would ever love her Brett would show up. Because he was her best friend and that’s what best friends do. They remind you that you are loved. 

~Quick Update~

I've been busy staying on track for NaNo that I have been neglecting my blog. With that said I'm already at 22,000 words and still going strong. I think what helped me the most was the fact that my computer got a virus. Not just any virus either. A hardcore, computer can only run in safe mode virus. Thanks to my computer whiz brother he fixed it. But since he now lives three and half hours away in Rhode Island I had to wait almost a week for him to come home for the weekend. First I got, I don't think I can fix it. I wanted to cry, scream and stomp my feet. Then he texts me, pretty sure I fixed it. Running one more scan. Then I was clapping, jumping and tempted to hug him. My brother's not the hugging type so I refrained. And he was right it was fixed.

I'm sure you're wondering how a virus could have helped me get so far along in my WIP. It's simple actually. Since I was only able to use my computer in safe mode I couldn't access the internet. My biggest distraction was taken away from me. No Twitter, Facebook, Radaronline, Huffington post, Blogger, nothing. I couldn't believe how much I was able to accomplish in my writing. I'm beginning to think having my brother fix it was a mistake. Old habits die hard.

How's your November going? And if you are participating in NaNo I would love to hear about it in the comments.

I Love Dark YA Blogfest

Where did this week go? *Looks under desk* I seriously feel like I just blinked and it went from Monday to Friday. I'm just going to blame it on NaNo. In the beginning of the month I signed on to participate in YAtopia's I Love Dark YA. Each week of November I am supposed to have a post with that weeks topic. It's supposed to be posted by Wednesday so obviously I am a little behind. You don't have to post every week, however, I love this weeks topic. So even if it is late I am still posting. I'll try to be on time in the weeks to come.

This weeks topic: Blog about your favorite Dark YA books.

Where to begin? The book that comes to mind immediately is Fall for Anything by Courtney Summers. This is the first book I read by this author and I was sucked into the emotions and depth of the main character, Eddie. Her father committed suicide and she is unable to come to terms with it. She is drowning in depression as she constantly searches for the reason why. Her best friend is there with her every step of the way but she pushes him away. Soon she meets Culler, Evans a former student of her father who seems to know more about him than she ever did. An attraction starts as they both try to piece the puzzle together.

This book is not a light read. It is dark, emotional and brings you on a journey that when you are finished all you want to do is cry or reach through the pages and hug Eddie. At times I would get frustrated when she would push her best friend away but I got it. When you fall into depression you tend to push away the people that you love the most. As a writer I learned a lot from this book. Courtney Summer brought the characters to life on the page and I felt every single one of Eddie's emotions and I feel that is what every writer should set out to do.

Another Dark YA Book that I loved is Twisted by Laurie Halse Anderson. From my previous review: 
Tyler Miller has always been somewhat of a nerd, invisible among his classmates, until he gets caught for spray painting graffiti on school property. After a summer of community service and a labor intense job he is back at school with a new body and reputation. The girl he has been lusting after, his dad's boss’s daughter and sister to his enemy, for a majority of his teen year’s takes notice. You would think this is the part where things begin to look up for Tyler but a web of deceit turns his life upside down. (I don't want to give too much away for those who have not read the book yet.) 

I read this book in less than a day. This book for me is the perfect example of voice. Tyler's voice was so strong throughout this book that at times I felt like I was actually in his head. I felt for him. And even though I read the book in a short amount of time Tyler's voice stuck with me for days. 
There are so many more that I love but these two books really captured the voice and the emotions for me. 


What are your favorite Dark YA books? 

First Day of Nano.

Happy November! And we know what that means. It is the first day of Nanowrimo. I'm not pulling my hair out. Yet. I'm sure I will get there soon. And when I do I will be sure to keep you all posted. For the next month my mind will be in 1925. I hope it goes according to plan. In the meantime I thought I would fill you in on what my book is about. Here is a summary of my WIP: (As for the hair pulling -I wrote this last night before my laptop got a virus *insert sad face* hopefully I will have it fixed soon)

Summary:
Millie torn between the guy her parents want her to date, Jimmy, and the guy she loves, Shane, chooses to date both. When Jimmy brings her to a Roaring Twenties themed charity event at one of the Newport Mansions she is transported back to August 1925 where everyone thinks she is her great grandmother, Mildred Covington. Mildred lost everything on this night including the boy she loved and now Millie has the chance to make it right. Soon Millie is over her head with a secret lover, a fiance who is not only a tobacco magnate but also a silent partner to one of the top bootleggers in Rhode Island, a crooked sheriff, and The Klan. Can Millie wrong the rights of the past? Or are these wrongs meant to be a bigger lesson for the present?

And the first 250 words: (Yay I'm getting somewhere)

1925

            The hot August air of Newport clung to her skin as she ran from the cottage she had been spending her summers at since she was born. The blaring jazz music being played in the grand dining room faded. The house, while she loved it, had a habit of making her feel as if she was suffocating.

            Summers were supposed to be relaxing and fun, but when your parents were trying to pawn you off to one of the most eligible bachelors of Newport’s high society it was exhausting. Richard Hollingsworth was eldest son to tobacco magnate John Hollingsworth and his socialite wife Helen.

            Richard was everything her parents wanted for her. Though, if Millie had to spend one more second listening to Richard and her father discuss their investments and the stock market, which her father couldn’t ever say enough about, she was going to scream.

            Instead of screaming she chose to sneak away. After all she didn’t want to make a spectacle of herself. As she rounded the gardens, the beaded dress, her mother insisted she wear to the dinner party, to draw Richard’s attention, weighed heavy on its delicate straps. A shock to Millie since her mother was usually against anything ‘flapper’ like. Her mother still preferred the elegance of the early part of the century as Millie did not.

            “Darling it’s Coco Chanel,” her mother had said to her as she hung it in her dressing room as if it being designer made it okay.

 

What are you working on for Nano? And if you aren't participating in Nano, how are you spending your November?