~So I Used to Do things~

Once upon a time I used to do things. I used to go places and plan weekend and day getaways and now I feel like I don't do anything. There came a point when I moved out of my parents house and into an apartment with my boyfriend that everything came to a standstill. Before I moved out when I got my paycheck it was mine. It wasn't the cable companies, or the electric companies or one of the many credit card companies I owe money to, it was mine. I was lucky enough to have parents who paid most of my bills and who never asked for rent money in return. I lived at home for free. I think back on that time now and wonder why I didn't save my money. I would be so much better off. But then I think the money that I did spend was well spent. I got to go out and experience things many people will never be able to do. I took in Broadway play after Broadway play, went to any concert and comedy show my heart desired and I spent many glorious weekends indulging in my love of history at museums. I learned things I never would have fully appreciated if I didn't experience it first hand. I toured the mansions in Newport Rhode Island, more then once and I only hope I can find the time and the funds to go back again.I walked the grave yards in Salem Massachussetts and visited the house of Seven Gables. I spent time in Mystic Connecticut and attended the Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo New York more times then I can count. Manhattan is only give or take an hour and half away from where I live and I have visited The Met, The Whitney, The Guggenheim, Ripley's Believe it or Not, Madame Tussauds, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Empire State Building, Central Park (every chance I get), South Street Seaport, China Town, the list goes on an on. 

 I used to look forward to planning these trips. It was something I did. Something I loved. I would have print outs of all of the places and would even go as far as Googling restaurants and other attractions that were near by. I over planned. My boyfriend always made fun of me, he's more of the go with the flow type of guy. However, it was my thing. It made me happy, gave me something to look forward to. Now I feel like I don't have that anymore. I miss the days where I could just say I want to go to the Bronx Zoo on Sunday and Sunday morning we would get up bright and early and be at the Zoo before noon. Now it's oh let me chekc my schedule I think I have a bridal shower that day or is it a baby shower. Maybe I've just bitter. Maybe this whole growing up process came too soon for me. I feel like I am still young and still have so much to see and do while my friends are settling down, buying houses and starting families. Is 25 old? Do I need to forget about the fun, eventful life I used to live and accept that life has gotten in the way of me having a life? Because really what is the fun it that?

I have planned out a few weekend trips and day trips in the past few months the only problem is I never get to them. The print outs and well planned itineraries have all started to collect dust. I haven't been to the Bronx Zoo in almost two years. I used to go twice a year at least. I haven't made it into Manhattan in months (other than going to see American Idiot for my mom's Birthday), I haven't even been to the beach more than once this summer. Then as I type away I wonder if I'm ungrateful and if people will look at me as a whiner. I should be thrilled that I have experienced so much and have been fortunate enough to go out and see things, but that's the problem. I know how fortunate I am, but once you know the lifestyle of experiencing life and somehow you get sucked up into adulthood and responsibilities it's kind of depressing to look back at all you used to do.

I used to want to write a book about Long Island and New York about all of the the fun things it has to offer. I was going to title it "Never Say There is Nothing to do" I even started writing it. I had over 150 places and sadly to say I had only been to maybe 30 of them, but I had every intention of visiting every place I compiled for the book. I never did. Maybe I need to stop venting and wallowing in my self pity and I need to just go out and do whatever it is I desire. Money may be tight, time may be sparse but that doesn't mean I can't plan ahead. I'm taking a stand right now. I plan on resorting back to my old life before I grew up at least once a month in order to get that feeling of anticipation and excitement back. I just need to figure out where I want to go first. Hmm.. I have a list a mile long:

• Philadelphia  (Haven't been since 5th grade)
• Williamsburg, Virginia
• Washington DC (I have never been and the Smithsonian is calling my name)
• Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
• Mark Twains House (CT)
• Vermont

And for places more local which are definitely more obtainable:

• NYC Aquarium (I went in winter and I think it'd be better in warmer weather)
• The Cloisters
• Walking Across the Brooklyn Bridge
• A needed trip to the Bronx Zoo
• International Center of Photography
• The Galleries in Chelsea
• A Big Onion Walking Tour
• Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity

I could keep going, but I am going to stop myself. Unfortunately this Sunday is out of the question since I will be attending a BBQ at my boyfriends parent's house (which in all honesty I don't mind at all). Then next week I have a bachelorette party to attend. Hmm. This may be harder then I thought. No! I will do it. And to make myself I will blog about it. I'm also going to start doing something for myself everyday. Whether it be getting a haircut, sitting outside reading a good book, or treating myself to ice cream. I think it's about time I stop being so down in the dumps and start getting myself back on track. I look forward to writing about my upcoming adventures (as I like to call them) stay tuned it may get interesting.

I have writers block so I am blogging.

I finished reading Hush Hush by Becca Fitzgerald and when I was finished I was mad that it ended. I felt like the story finally picked up momentum as the last page came to a close. I liked the mystery of Patch and Ethan and even Jules. All of which kept me guessing from start to finish. However, (Spoiler alert) I had a feeling Patch wasn't the bad guy. I also liked Nora's friend Vee I think she was a realistic and relatable character. I'm a sucker for romance I think I have made that clear and I finally get to the romance and then the book ends. I need to get my hands on an ARC copy of Crescendo so I can see what happens next. Since I can only assume it will be even better.

I am now getting ready to read Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. I have heard great reviews and I hope it doesn't disappoint.

I wrote close to 4,000 words today that's more than I have wrote in a long time. However, now I am suffering from writers block and it is really annoying me. I know it will come to me eventually but the waiting for it to come part really kinda stinks. Maybe I am out of creativity because even now I am struggling for words to write. I think I will take a break from writing and go read.

St. Patrick's Day in July

I spent my night at a St. Patrick's Day celebration. Yes I did say St. Patrick's Day and yes I know it is July. Every year for quite sometime the place where my parents keep their boat, Morgan's Marina, the place where I spent my Summer's, has St. Patirck's Day in July. I indulged in shepards pie while watching Irish Step Dancers and listening to bag pipes and an Irish band. It was a good time. However, it's bittersweet to me.

My Grandfather was Irish/Italian, but always related to his Irish side more. I contribute that to his red hair and freckles. He loved the marina and he especially loved the St. Patrick's Day Celebration. It has been two years and two St. Patrick's Day Celebrations since he has passed and as they say it does get easier yet it still makes me sad. I sat their eating my shepards pie looking around at the people and the festivites and all I could think of was how he would love every single thing. Without him it just doesn't seem the same anymore.

The only thing that makes it okay for me is that I think even if I can't see him, even if he is no longer walking this earth he is still with me. Still sitting beside me on the plastic green chairs clapping his hands along to the lyrics of The Music Keeps us Drinking.

I sent out another query today, however, this is the first query I sent since I changed my first chapter. I also personalized the query which honestly I have never done before. I think it makes it more casual and not so uptight and business like. You need to find an agent, someone who you can trust and who you like so why make it so formal? Fingers are crossed.

I'm currently reading Hush Hush and so far so good. I like how mysterious Patch is and how Nora can't stand him yet can't stop thinking about him. I'm really excited to see where it is going to go.

I decided I need a desk. I sit home telling myself I am going to write, but without a desk I can't get in the zone. I sit on the couch with my laptop and I start getting lazy and do everything but write. We have a guest room and currently it stores our mountain bikes, my shoes, and unpacked boxes. (We've only lived in this apartment for 2 years) Our apartment is in the back of the building though which means little sunlight. Our living room has two windows but above it is our upstairs neighbors deck so that gets most of the sunlight. It cna get very dreary in the living room and I don't know about anybody else but to fell energized and ready to go I need sunlight. Our guest room, however, has two windows as well and nothing to block the sunlight from entering. Not to mention the two windows look out to the lake. I need to get that room cleaned up and make myself an office. I think if I have a place to go where there is no TV and it is just me my laptop and some music I could get a lot more writing done. That is going to be my summer project; an office.

Keeping this short today. Hopefully I'll finish Hush Hush soon and I can let you know what I think.

American Idol, Dark Flame, Beautiful Darkness.

On Wednesday I went to the American Idol concert at Jones Beach and it was awesome. Lee is still by far my favorite. Since all of his nerves were gone and he wasn't having a coronary he sounded amazing. I really wanted him and Crystal to sing a duet together but they didn't. However, Michael Lynch and Casey James did, they sang the Bryan Adams song they did together on the show. It's unbelievable how much better they sound in person. Michael Lynch started off with Woman's Worth and at that moment I was like okay the concert has officially started. He killed it (in a very good way) I couldn't believe how great he sounded. Now I see Aaron Kelly going on to be a country artist, Tim Urban an actor and Katie (can never remember her last name) oh Stevens a pop star, she sang Christina Aguilera's Fighter and well she has the chops that's for sure. Overall an awesome show. Lee and Crystal were my favorites and I just have to say I think they look cute together. At the the end the whole group sand Kelly Clarkson's (Not exactly sure the name) Life would suck without you song and that was the higlight they sounded great together. Lee came out last and instantly threw his arm around Crystal and I was like Hmm...

I finished reading Dark Flame. Alyson Noel nows how to keep you glued to the pages. There was a twist or two that took me for a surprise and hate that I have to wait to see what happens next for Ever and Damen. While I'm waiting I'm going to pick up Radiance the spin off series she is writing about Ever's sister Riley. I loved her character, she was witty and fun and I'm so happy she decided to write about what Riley's been doing since Ever can no longer see her.

I also finished reading Beautiful Darkness and what a great follow up to Beautiful Creatures. It was amazing. Since I got the advanced readers copy and it's not being released until October it only makes me mad since I want the third book that much sooner. I follow both authors on twitter.com and I don't think they have finished writing the third one yet. I wonder if they will stop at three or if they are going to continue with more. Beautiful Darkness has so many twists and turns as everything comes together and I hate to admit that I needed to know so bad that I would skip ahead several pages to see if my predicitions were right. I have no patience I guess lol. I need to know right then and there. I love how it is from Ethan's point of view and I also love the connection between him and Lena. I can definitely see these books being the next Twilight phenomenon. As far as I've read on IMDB they are in the process of turning the first book into a movie and it has the potential to be out of this world great. They just need to get two actors with undeniable chemistry, I think that is why Twilight works so well since Rob and Kristin's have such amazing chemistry together.

I am now reading Hush Hush. I'm only ten pages in but I have heard amazing reviews so I am excited. I have been so lax a dazy with reading and this is my only time (the summer) where I can actually read all day every day. I blame it on the internet once I get on I have trouble peeling myself away. It's really sad. However, I have finally got myself back into my reading mode and I'm not stopping. I want to read at least 25 books by summers end and I'm only up to 11. So I need to get reading and maybe then I will surpass my goal. That would be ideal. I also want to start reading the classics which I have but right now I am obsessed with these Young Adult Paranormal romances. They are so addictive. Anywho I have to get ready to go to a Bridal Shower I'm already running behind. So please follow me!!! I love to blog and just hope that even if I'm not being followed people are reading, but still knowing I'm being followed is even better.

Final note: I didn't know they made The Velveteen Rabbit into a movie. I loved that book when I was a kid.

Weekend Recap

Wow, it has been a long, very long weekend. My cousin and his girlfriend stayed with us for the long weekend and while I love when they visit I also love to be able to sit on the couch and just do my own thing. So while it was sad to see them go I was happy to have my me time back. Is that selfish? The weekend was great though. I got to go to the beach. We went to Fire Island, not Davis Park as I write about in my books but Watch Hill which is just across the way and you can see from the sandy shores of Watch Hill. Watch Hill has less people and is more about nature and it really is beautiful there. I wish I brought my camera. I could've got some amazing shots. Oh well I had a good time regardless and also some awful tan lines. I am not exactly thorough when it comes to applying sunblock and the red random blotches on my body prove that. On Sunday on the fourth we headed to my Uncle's Annual Fourth of July Party he has at my Grandma's house every year. For the twenty five years I have been alive I don't think I have ever missed a year. It just wouldn't be the Fourth of July with out being there. My Uncle Billy is crazy in a good way. He's like the 53 year old kid and to say he is entertaining would be an understatment. We ate, we drank, we set off fireworks (well I watched with my heart racing the entire time, we've had a few dangerous close calls in the past) and overall I got to be with my family and to me that is the most important.

I have started rewriting my first book Forever Ours. I think I have mentioned that in past posts. I wrote in entirely new first chapter and I keep going back and changing the second and third chapters. I'm embarrassed that I was querying it in the condition it was in. I had paragraphs that could easily be seperated into two or three paragraphs and I also had a lot of punctuation issues. I'm living and learning though. I'm reading a lot and taking notes. I also am excited to say that I won an advanced copy of Beautiful Darkness the sequel to Beautiful Creatures that is not set to be released until October 2010, on Ebay. I should have it soon. I'm beyond thrilled. I loved that book so much and can't wait to see what happens. First I have to finish Dark Flame, I read a hundred pages at the beach but other than that I haven't had time. So today I am home, carless, and it's supposed to be close to 100 degress out so I will stay in, turn on the AC and read away.

I'm going to end with an excerpt from my first book Forever Ours since that is the one I am working on at the moment:

Lisa closed her sticker covered diary, the only place she could reveal her secret. She was hopelessly in love with Steve her best friend Emma’s older brother. It would never be more than a crush. He was gorgeous the type of gorgeous you only think possible by modern day airbrushing. Lisa wasn’t in his league not even on the sidelines watching. However, she couldn’t get over the crush she had on him. It was something she had been trying to do for years.

More Twilight talk.

As I am watching Twilight for the millionth time I can't help but think that someone should start a Twilight rehab. Think of how well that would do. It's a sick obsession. It really is. Whenever it's on the movie channels I have to watch it. I can't simply pass over it and watch something else. It's such a bizarre thing. I also got to see Eclipse last night and let me just say OMG. It was awesome. The acting, the script, the action it was all there. While I admit the first Twilight and also New Moon were not very good (even though there is something intriguing about them) Eclipse completely blows them out of the water. Rob Pattinson (who I love) finally showed me he is an actor and he has depth. I think after Twilight he will be fine and go on to make many movies. Kristin Stewart I think is a good actress and the way she portrays Bella is perfect. She is a shy, awkward, lovestruck naive girl. How else is she suppose to act? I just read a great post by Shirly Manson and I think it sums it all up:

"You know…….it's kind of pathetic that I care.

I am ( afterall or allegedly) a fully mature woman.

But I can't help it.

Why are people so turned off by Kristen Stewart?!?!?!

I don't get it.

I think she's the best thing about the entire Twilight franchise.

Absolutely.

She's delicious to look at.

She's a talented actress.

(I don't care what anyone else has to say about her acting because I think she behaves EXACTLY the way me and all my pals did around that age of the character she is playing so THERE!)

AND she's articulate.

And she's a little shy.

And clearly very thoughtful.

What's not to love?

I hate it when she gets trashed.

It hurts my teenage self.

And it annoys me that everyone laughs at her sullen portrayal of Bella.

What the hell do they want from her?

For her to ponce around like a so called normal teenager and smile a little more, no doubt.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

…..

SAVE OUR SMART GIRLS

SAVE THEM NOW

DO NOT MAKE THEM SMILE

DON'T DO IT

pretty please?"

I think she hit the nail on the head. Has anyone ever seen Kristin Stewart in anything other then Twilight? I have. CakeEaters, Adventureland, Speak all of those movies demonstrate how good of an actress she really is. So what if she's awkward and says the wrong thing what twenty year old doesn't? Anyway back to Eclipse. I think if Kristin Stewart's wig in Eclipse was better that would have made a world of difference because it was awful. She kind of pokes fun at it on her Lopez Tonight interview. She's not denying it in anyway. With all the money that franchise has brought in they couldn't have gotten a better hair piece. Come on. Also I like Alice's hair so much better in Twilight it gave her that pixie cute look and now her hair is kind of old looking. Doesn't suit her as well as the first hair style. I love the back stories of Rosalie and Jasper, especially Jasper. Jackson Rathbone is very talented and I am happy he finally got to display that. I love the sincerity between Jasper and Alice They are so sweet to each other. I also love how the script finally gave Edward a bit of a sense of humor. He has a few one liners that are great.
 
Every time Billy Burke is on screen he steals the scene. He's comedy relief yet in the perfect way. You can always expect to crack a smile when he has a line. Even though I am not Team Jacob I have to admit Taylor Lautner did a great job as well. I also felt more chemistry between him and Kristin Stewart then I did in New Moon. The scene where he kisses her and she retaliates by punching him in the face is great. You can almost feel her hand breaking the way they shot it. I could go on and on forever about how much I loved the movie and all the parts that stood out for me,but I won't. The last thing I will say is I think it ended perfectly, I cna't wait to go see it again nor can I wait for the last two installments of the series. Any thoughts? Anyone else see Eclipse? What were your favorite parts? And do you agree with Shirley Manson?