I DID IT!!

I did it! I actually did it. I have to say that for a second there I really didn't think I would. And now that I did, I am relieved and ecstatic. This was a book that I have wanted to write for a very long time but never thought I'd be able to pull it off. Now 50,000 words+ I think I did. I just need to finish it up and then edit like crazy.

Good luck to all of you that are still pounding away on those keys. As to those that have finished I raise a glass to you, yes I am about to pour myself a very large glass of wine, Congrats, we did it!

November Wrap Up

November has been a very busy month. Between Thanksgiving, NaNo, Christmas popping up everywhere, I've been swamped. My mind is a jumbled mess. So today I'm just going to wrap up my November.

I am so close to reaching 50,000 words. I have exactly 4,619 words and two days left. I've always worked better under pressure so I'm not really worried about it. What I am worried about is going back to edit. But I'll worry about it when I get there. How about your month of writing? Are you happy with the outcome so far?

I think I read one book this month. Vixen by Jillian Larkin. (One of these days I'll write a review) That's the thing I miss the most. Cuddling up on the couch with a good book and losing myself in the character's world. I plan on catching up on all my reading this winter.

I wasn't going to write about this but what the heck. 11/11/2011 was said to be one of the luckiest days. At 11:11 everyone said to make a wish. So at 11:11 on 11/11/2011 I sat in my office at work and made my wish. I wished for an agent. I'm a writer what do you expect? I'm not even kidding you when I say that two hours later I received a request to read my full manuscript. I was ecstatic of course. I really began to believe in the hoopla. Then an hour later I lost my job. I was laid off. After dedicating ten years of my life to this company, I had nothing. Not even a good luck or a thank you for all that I had done. Nothing. I found a box went in my office and packed up ten years worth of my life.  I was upset. I was angry. I think more than anything I was disappointed. Ten years is a very long time. I started there when I was just sixteen. I basically grew up with these people and they didn't even have the decency to say goodbye. That hurt. I always looked at the people I worked with for those ten years as family and I felt like they all turned their backs on me. But like I've always heard, in the end you know who your true friends are. And now I do.

I cried. I won't lie. At first I didn't and then when I thought about Christmas I lost it. Buying gifts is my thing. I have been buying gifts for every person in my family, mom, dad, brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, everyone, since I was six. My birthday is December 4th and my birthday money was always put towards getting these gifts. I rarely spent my birthday money on myself. Now this year things are tight. I can't spend like I usually do and that upsets me. I know Christmas isn't about the gifts, but seeing the face of a person you love light up when they open something you gave them that is my favorite part of Christmas. Once I wiped away the tears I realized I could still get that reaction I just have to do it on a budget. 

My best friend told me, it was a blessing in disguise. I couldn't agree with her more. It was a company where you had no room to grow. I spent 30,000 dollars on a college education and it is about time I use that degree. I also have a lot of time on my hands now and that means I can write all day and I can read whenever I want. While I'm looking for a job I am going to enjoy the time I have to myself. I have worked full time since I was sixteen while also balancing a full time education. In the ten years I worked at this company I called in sick maybe three times. There were days where I was sent home sick by my boss but I never called out. If I was scheduled to work I felt obligated to be there.

I worked from 8am to 6pm every Saturday for nine years. Do you know how many people have parties on Saturdays? And do you know how many I missed? I missed my best friend's kids birthday parties and even a christening or two. I missed friends and family member's birthday/anniversary/graduation parties all because I had to work. Not anymore. I spent nine years disappointing my family and friends all because of my job and I'm not going to do that anymore. I've missed out on so much and for what? In the end it was for nothing.

So 11/11/2011 might not have turned out the way I had hoped, but I honestly believe it was a lucky day. I'm free. For the first time in ten years I can do whatever it is that I want to do. It's scary, especially for a person who hates change, but at the same time it's exciting. I can't wait to see what's next.

How was your November?

Week 4 I Love Dark YA Blogfest: YASAVES

This weeks Dark YA Blogfest topic is: #YASAVES—Blog about how a dark YA book made an impact in your life. I actually wrote a post about this a few months ago and you can read it here. I think this is a great topic and can't wait to read what everyone else writes.

I've got Crap

I am at that point. You know the point. The one where you think everything that you are writing is crap. Yup, I have officially arrived. I was so gung ho in the beginning, but once I got to 25,000 words it turned to crap. Now I'm at 29,000 and I feel like everything I have written is crap. As you can see there is a whole lot of crap. It is so frustrating. I want to write and I had this whole plan but now my goals seem to be slipping away.

I got to one point in my WIP where I just got stuck and if you've read previous posts you know it's not the first time. This time though I didn't know where to go and what exactly I wanted to happen, so I added more drama to a drama ridden story. So now I"m wondering is there such thing as too much drama? Ahhhhhh! Okay I feel better now.

And if that's not enough to weigh heavy on my mind, I start thinking okay well I can wrap it up soon and bring it all together, but I'm only on page 115 and I'm only at 29,000 words, I need at least 30,000 more to go. Maybe I should just stop thinking. That might actually be my best bet.

Okay. I'm sorry for my mini freak out. Hope NaNo is going much better for everyone else. Would love to hear updates. Leave them in the comments.

Lesson Learned

As I cheered for all of you to keep writing I stopped writing. In the past two days I have written a total of 26 words. I could equate it to many things. It hasn't exactly been the best last few days, but my mind has finally cleared and I sat down in front of my computer, just like I have been doing for the past two days, and finally it clicked.

I was working on a chapter that had a lot happen within a page or two and I had no idea where to go from there. I knew where I wanted to go after that chapter, but that chapter I was blank. The chapter was only five pages long and I kept thinking it needs more. Once I came back to it with a clear head I realized, no it doesn't need more. It needed a sentence to wrap it up and that was it. You don't need to add unnecessary words to a chapter just to make it longer. Once you get to the point you are trying to make, wrap it up. There is no need to drag it out. Lesson learned. Besides when I go back to revise if something needs to be added I can do it then.

Have any of you had this problem? Stressing out over what a chapter needs only to realize it's fine the way it is and you just need to move on to the next?

Now back to it. Happy Writing.

~Weekend Post~

How's NaNo going for everyone? I'm here to cheer you on. Think of me as your personal cheerleader, except I don't do the uniform and pom poms. Sorry. I will, however, be here for moral support and tough love. If you need a push to get past the writer's block I will be more than happy to shove :) Pretty funny considering I was stuck for a day or two. At first I was like, No! How can I be stuck? It was going so well. I was pumping out words like Henry Ford pumped out cars, but it happened. So instead of stressing over it I took it as my brain telling me to take some time and relax. I finished reading a book I have been reading forever. Started reading a new book. Caught up on all my favorite TV shows and didn't think about where my characters are going to go and what is going to happen next. All I needed was a day of pushing it aside to get right back on track.

So if you are stuck, don't stress. You just need to give your brain a little breather. Go out for a walk, watch a movie, call an old friend, have a drink :) and when you go back you will have a clear mind and will be ready to pound away on your keyboard.

The chapters that were giving me a hard time is a key point in the book and I want to share with you the pictures I used for inspiration. (If you haven't figured it out by now I"m obsessed with photos)