My 2011 Reading List: Books I should have read in 2010

The Titles are:
Shiver
Linger

Halo
If I Stay
Matched
Pretty Little Liars Series
Rules of Attraction
Anna and the French Kiss
Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Mockingjay
13 Little Blue Envelopes
Crescendo
Night Star
Impossible
North of Beautiful
The Blue Blood Series
Hearts at Stake
Blood Feud
Fixing Delilah
The Replacement
Forget You
Nightshade
Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
The Harry Potter Books (I own all of them what am I waiting for?)
The Sky is Everywhere
The Clique Series
Gossip Girl Series (Finish it)
House of Nights Series
Firelight
As You Wish
Aces Up
How to Ruin Your Boyfriends Reputation
You Wish
Will Grayson
Bloom
Hex Hall
Clockwork Angel
Immortal Beloved
Witch and Wizard
Thirteen Reasons Why
Willow Vampire Diaries Series
Elixer
The Unwritten Rule
Leaving Paradise
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.
A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin
Brava Valentine
Very Valentine
Sail
Immortal

And the Classics that I am ashamed to say I have never read:
Dracula
Uncle Tom's Cabin
Pride and Prejudice
Tale of Two Cities
Wuthering Heights
The Jungle
Phantom of the Opera
Treasure Island

I know there are so many titles I am missing. If you know of any I should add please leave me a comment below. I love to read, but I also love recommendations. Would love a recommendation for a great young adult contemporary. Happy New Year and Happy Reading.

Resolution Time.

So it's that time of year. Time to pull out your noise makers and 2011 crowns and watch Dick Clark countdown to the New Year. It's also that time of year when everyone starts talking about their New Years Resolutions. For the past month I have been saying 2011 is going to be my year though I have yet to say why. I haven't made a resolution out loud and I think it is about time I write them down that way if I do not stick with them I will not be the only one to know. It's my way of possibly sticking with something which for me never really happens. I'm the girl that jumps from one thing to the next faster than most people have a chance to even think about it. That I know I can't change and I have no intention of trying to make a resolution to try because A) I will fail miserably and B) I kind of like that about myself it gives me the chance to try new things. However, there are a few things that I know I can stick to and want to so here goes.

First, my boyfriend is obsessed with mountain biking and while I have gone with him many times in the past I want to actually go more often than not. I used to enjoy it but then I had a pretty bad fall and I have been scared to get back on the bike. I was never one to be scared about anything and now I seem to be scared of everything. That is another resolution to get over my fear of life. I'm so scared of doing things, scared that something might happen that I am missing out. I also used to go places, museums, parks, zoos, aquraiums, random places I found interesting and somewhere along the line it kind of just stopped. (I wrote a post about this a few months ago.) I want to start doing things again. I want to start exploring and discovering new places like I used to. It made life fun, exciting and interesting and it got me off the couch. I told my boyfriend that when spring comes that one Sunday we will go mountain biking and the next we will do something of my choosing and keep rotating. (Sunday is our only day off together.) That way we both get to do the things we enjoy, but at the same time get to share it with each other. I am really looking forward to it.

Now on to the usual suspects, drinking, I like to drink and while there is nothign wrong with it I think its time I cut down just a wee bit. I'm a wino and think it's perfectyl aceptable to have a glass or three a night, but like I said it's time to cut down. Also like every other person on the planet I want to start eating better and get in shape. Diet and excercise not to necessarily to lose weight which would be nice but to get myself more active and to just overall feel better. I hate waking up and feeling sluggish and wanting to sit on the couch. I want to wake up and be a ball of energy like I used to be. I also have a bad back. I know a bad back and I'm only 26 but I've been dealing with it since I was 16 but it has progressively gotten worse. However, when I excercise and move around it feels much better another reason why I should really give this a go. Not to mention the mountain biking should definitely help.

Reading. I love to read. However, I've been having trouble finding time to read and I'm done with that. I want to be able to, now this is shooting low, read a book a week. Hopefully it will be more, but I'd rather aim low and give myself a fighting chance. Also I need to make myself write everyday. There are times when I get writers block and I will go a week to two weeks without writing a single work and yeah when the ideas finally come I can write for days, but I don't want to not write. Even if I'm writing crap I can still go back and edit and turn the crap into something great. I just have to do it. Write it.

And now on to the stuff that I am really going to have to work on and really give my all. I graduated college. I have my bachelor's degree in marketing, and granted I just finished school a couple of weeks ago, I am still at the same job I have had since I was 16. My boss did offer me a new position and I think I can do great things with it but at the same time it really isn't what I want to do. I told him a year so by the end of 2011 I want to already have a new job lined up or a career path in mind. I'm still in the running for the internship I've spoke about in the past. As of tomorrow I need to send the marketing plan and within a week I will find out if I am the lucky one. If that's the case which I hope it is I think that will be the stepping stone I need. So fingers crossed.

I also want to get one of my books published. I know that is a big resolution and one I have no control over. It is in the hands of the agents I query, but I want this so bad. I want to be a writer. That is my number one goal. Writing is a passion of mine and the one thing in my life that I have never had a problem with sticking to. I want to write, I want deadlines and editor notes and I want to be able to go to book signings and meet other writers. So, while my other resolutions are for bettering myself this resolution is for setting up my life and getting me on the path I want most. Since my fingers are already crossed, I will cross my arms, my toes, my legs and even braid my hair if that helps.

So what are your resolutions?

~I've Been Reading, Reading and Reading~

I am happy to say that I have kept with my goal of spending my vacation reading. I started reading Monday night and as of last night I have finished three books. I finally finished Vampire Diaires Stephan's Diaries Origins 1 by L.J. Smith. Now while I really did enjoy it I always can't help, but compare the book to the TV show. So I am happy to say that this book is exactly how the episode of when Stephan and Damon got turned. What I also liked is that there was more back story. Parts of the story that I hadn't known about from the TV show. It brings you to 1864 and the first appearance of Katherine. However, like the show I am still unsure of Katherine and her motives. Does she really love Stephan and look at Damon as a brother? Or is she manipulating them both for whatever reason? With this book it's still hard to tell because it is from Stephan's point of view so you never know what actually went on with Katherine and Damon. I'm hoping the next installment out in January will help get closer to the truth.

Next I read Lauren Barnholdt's One Night that Changes Everything. Everytime Eliza is scared to do something she writes it down in her purple notebook, but what happens when that notebook gets stolen by her ex boyfriend Cooper? The same ex who lied to her their entire relationship and now him and his group of friends are blackmailing her. She has to the end of the night to finish every humliating task they personally chose from her notebook or else the entire notebook will end up online.

I was hesitant at first to read this book. Only because I had read reviews elsewhere that weren't so favorable. However, the concept intrigues me and I liked the cover so I did what any 26 year old would do, I put it on my Christmas list and like always mom came through. I liked the characters sometimes Eliza sounded more like 15 than 17 and even though at times I knew excactly where the plot was going I still enjoyed the book. It was a fun easy read and made me laugh out loud at times. Many of the reviews didn't like the fact that a seventeen year old was out on the town without her parents knowing because that wasn't very realistic. For me I could see how very realistic it actually is. My parents used to go away for the weekend when I was 17 and trusted me to stay home which never happened, they just never found out about it. So I could totally relate to that and say that it is very possible. I'd give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Next I read Going too Far by Jennifer Echols. Now this book right off the bat I give 5 out of 5 stars. From the very beginning I got hooked into the story. Meg has always wanted to get away from her hometown and everything that goes along with it, school, her parents and their crappy diner that she gets stuck working at for free. Meg is the girl with blue hair that never seems to follow the rules of the law, but one night after a dare involving forbidden railroad tracks she goes too far and almost doesn't come back. John never left his hometown instead he made the choice to stay to enfore the rules and serve and protect. He has no tolerance for childish rebellion and the railroad tracks. After finding Meg and her friends out on the tracks he decides to teach Meg a lesson that she won't forget. Meg, however, is not easy to teach as she questions everything he has ever learned as a police officer. He in return demands to know why she is so scared to be tied down. The two of them question one another opening their eyes to other possibilities sometimes taking it one step too far.

I loved the book. After reading Meg's voice stayed with me. She is a character that you can easily fall in love with and relate to. John even though hard on the outside really is a loveable guy. The bantor between the two of them makes the book. I laughed out loud so many times while reading and even teared up I won't say why, but there are a couple spots where you are hit with a shocking revelation. If you are trying to decide on what to read next I would definietely say go out and get Jennifer Echols Going too Far. If you love a good love story and characters that are as real as the ink on the page then this book will be perfect for you.

And now I am reading Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles and am only on page 22, but so far so good. I have a feeling I am really going to like it besides the fact that I fell in love with the cover. After that I have the second book of the series which is Rules of Attraction another amazing cover and from there I will see. I will keep you updated as my vacation of reading continues.

~Christmas and the Blizzard~

After months of shopping and wrapping Christmas is over. I always find it strange how we go about spending months preparing for one single day. However, in the grand scheme of it all I feel that is what makes Christmas truly special. It's not the opening gift part that is special, which don't get me wrong is a blast, but it is the build up to the actual day: going out and finding that perfect gift and imagining the reaction you'll see when that person finally opens it, baking cookies with your best friend who you don't get to see as often as you like, driving around with your significant other and looking at houses decorated for the holiday, watching all of the beloved Christmas movies that made you laugh when you were younger and going to find the perfect tree. All of these things add up to one amazing holiday and even though in the middle of the chaos I sometimes curse Christmas in the end everything always falls into place.

This year many of my traditions that I wrote about in the previous post did not happen. Time seemed to fly by at a speed I could not keep up with no matter how hard I tried. My parents house for the first year ever did not have a single lit up ornament, it didn't even have christmas lights well other than the bay window. It was weird to pull up to my parents house and not be blinded by the thousands of lights that usually adorn their house and yard. In a way it kind of made it feel not like Christmas at all. Even on Christmas Eve pulling up I thought I would see at least one of the hundreds of lighted decorations they have on the lawn, but I didn't. Walking up to the house I couldn't help but wonder if this was just the beginning of another day and not my favorite day of the year. Luckily as my family began to show up Christmas sprung to life. I realized this year that it doesn't matter how many lights are on the house or how many presents are under the tree because all that matters is being with your family. I have never laughed as hard as I did this season (with my family and friends) and to me that is the greatest gift of all.

The most bizarre thing that happened to me was a week before Christmas when I had a dream. In the dream I saw my grandfather for the first time since he passed away. Until that night I have never dreamed of him before. I was running past a crowd of people when I spotted his face amongst them. Instantly I ran over to him, throwing my arms around him and squeezing him as tight as I could knowing that this would be the last time I would ever see him again. I told him I loved him as he continued to look at me as if I just lost my mind. Eventually I let go and went to go back on my way when suddenly you could see that it was all making sense to him and he knew too. He called out "Hey!" In his usual scruffy voice and I stopped and turned back to him. Then he said the most peculiar thing to me he said "Violence at dinner. It's okay." and I replied "Perfectly acceptable." and he said "Yes it is," before going on into a speech or poem that basically said You can fight with family all you want because in the end it doesn't matter they are family and no matter what you will always love them for who they are. Then he smiled at me, his eyes glistening the way I will forever remember and then my alarm clock went off jolting me back to reality. I was perplexed at the message to say the very least, but when Christmas Eve came it all began to make sense. My dad was cranky in the morning and we all were ready to strangle him, but as the day progressed he got over it as did we all. At dinner my uncle and aunt started to argue and in the mist of their banter the cork from the wine bottle sitting on the table in between then randomly popped off landing in my uncle's lap. Once that cork popped I smiled and began to laugh. You can call it a coincidence or whatever you like and I will still say that my grandfather was at dinner with us that night. Just like he always was and always will be.

So today is the day after Christmas and there is a wicked snowstorm going on outside. I love the snow and my only complaint is that I wish it would have come a day earlier so we could have had a white Christmas. I guess a day late isn't so bad though. The forecast is calling for 12-18 inches which is fine by me because I am on vacation or should I say staycation (again). As I mentioned in the past post I will be catching up on my reading and what better way to do so as the snow is falling down outside your window. I love it.

Lastly I just want to mention that I had put in for an internship at a literary agency for a marketing position. You had to send a letter and your resume and after the agent looked over the applicants would ask a few to come up with a fake marketing plan. Well on Christmas Eve I recieved an email asking if I could come up with a marketing plan. I am so excited. It would be the ideal job for me combining both my love of books and my love of marketing. It's unpaid, but the opportunities that could stem from it is well worth it. So my fingers are crossed and I can't wait to start working on this marketing plan. Also I still have yet to hear back from the agent who requested my full manuscript but those fingers are still crossed as well. I see changes on the horizon and I can't wait to see how it all will unfold.

I'm off to enjoy my homemade tacos and curl up with my book and a glass of wine. What do you do during a snowstorm? And how was everyones holiday? Leave your comments below.

Just a Quick Post to Catch Up

Been so busy with final papers, final presentations and finals in general that I haven't had time to blog, read, write and pretty much do anything outside of schoolwork. However, as of Thursday I will officially be a college graduate recieving my Bachelors degree in Marketing. Yay! *Claps hands and jumps up and down* During the month of January I plan on catching up on everything mostly reading. I have bought so many books in the past few months and haven't been able to read a single one. To be able to sit on the couch with a book and not have to worry about studying or school work is going to be the best reward. My first book on the list is L.J. Smith's Stephan's Diaries Volume 1 Origins. I have read about 84 pages in the past two weeks and should have been able to finish it in a day and a half. Next will be Crescendo which I also started, but couldn't give it my full attention and had to put it on the back burner until I am able to fully immerse myself in Nora and Patch's world. After Crescendo will be NightStar by Alyson Noel. The 5th book in the Immortal series. I also have Elixir by Hilary Duff, The Pretty Little Liars series, Halo, Bloom by Elizabeth Scott, Wake and Fade by Lisa McMann, The Vampire Diaries series, The Blue Bloods Series, If I stay, Willow and so many more. Any suggestions on what I should add to my list (I'm really looking for a YA contemporary that I can't put down) or any on my list that I should put at the top of the list?

A quick side note, I recieved a full manuscript request on my novel Forever Ours. I stppoed querying for this book a few months ago after not getting a very good response. I figured for the current market it wasn't right and would try again in the future. However I recieved an email from an agent apologizing for being so far behind on submissions and if I still wanted them to consider my work. Quickly I wrote back in a few words that all added up to a big absolutely. Fifteen minutes after I sent the reply I recieved the request for the full. Now I am thrilled, ecstatic almost, but I willl not get my hopes up. I can't, but with that said I am so happy to have recieved a full request and I think that is an accomplishment all in itself. Not to mention this book is my baby. The characters became such a huge part of me. I'd be in the shower and dialogue between two characters would pop into my head and I'd jump out of the shower looking for the closest thing I could write on. Or I'd be in class listening to the professor babble on and suddenly the characters would appear in my mind and it was as if I was watching their lives unfold completely oblivous to the professor and completely engaged in my characters. Random dialogue would come to me and I'd be like that is so Colton and need to find a way to incorporate it into his story. So as you can see this book means a great deal to me and for someone to be interested in it brings me unexplainable joy. I will not get my hopes up but I will keep my fingers crossed and maybe even my toes too.

Promise to write more frequently. Please leave comments below and let me know what is on your winter reading list and please become a follower. I'm friendly I swear *winks*

Holiday Traditions

Growing up Christmas was always a big deal and because of that so many traditions were born. I am all about traditions to the point that if one falls through the cracks during the busy time of year I can feel a bit of emptiness. My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts and constantly tells me traditions are meant to be broken, but I don't believe they are. Traditions to me are the little things that you grew up doing and there was a reason for doing them. A tradition is not only something you do to keep the so called tradition going but it is a way to reminisce about the prior years. Recall memories that might otherwise have been forgotten. So for this post I am going to give a rundown of all the traditions I take part in for the holiday season. Hold on tight it is going to be a long slippery slope down memory lane.

The first tradition getting a Christmas tree. Even though I no longer live at home I still try to be with my parents when they get their Christmas tree. It is not just going to get a tree with my parents, oh no, it is an adventure. We can leave at nine o'clock in the morning and by six o'clock in the evening still not have a tree and it's not like we live in an area where tree stands are sparse. We live on Long Island there is a tree stand every ten feet. However, my mother is picky and when it comes to her Christmas tree, hard to please. I recall one time where the guy at the the place we were at talked her into getting a tree and when he was pulling it through the netting she told him and I quote, "Well if I get it home and I don't like it I can return it right?" No joke. She insists she said it because he was netting three trees and she thought he might mix them up, but I know that wasn't the case. One tradition about gettting a tree that was broken was that we used to go and actually cut the tree down. Now talk about an adventure. It was the same thing every December. We would go and my dad would take the saw that they provided and after wondering through the rows and rows of trees we would finally settle on the perfect tree. My dad would drop down on the ground and start sawing away. After fifteen minutes of getting nowhere he would start cursing and saying "Next year I'm bringing my chainsaw" he never did, but he always said it. As my father got older cutting down our own Christmas tree lost its appeal, but getting a tree is still an adventure and that is all that matters.

New York City is probably one of the most recognized cities in the world that completely transforms for the Christmas Season. For me and my family trekking into the city to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree and department store windows is just another part of our tradition. My birthday is December 4th so usually we pick either the Saturday or Sunday right before or right after to go in. It always winds up to be a bitter cold day and no matter how many layers you have on the wind goes right through your clothes right to your bones. However, there is nothing more exciting then turning that corner and having the tree in all its beautiful glory staring you right in the face. I look forward to it every year. Some years we coordinate our visit to the tree with a visit to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. No matter how many times I have seen that show I still smile like a child who is seeing it for the first time. There is something magical about it. I can exactly say what, but if you have never seen the show before I would make it a point to do so. You will not be disappointed it is everything you imagine and so much more. Tickets are pricey so that is why it is a tradition that is not always able to be followed through with. However, if you plan to go do not pay full price. Check out websites such as Broadwaybox.com and TheaterMania.com you can find discounts up to 50% off regular ticket prices. I have never paid more that $60 for orchestra center stage tickets.

Christmas lights are probably my fondest memories of the season. Every year my dad transforms my parents house into a winter wonderland and every year despite my mom's requests to keep it simple it gets bigger and better than ever. We are at the point where we have at least eight inflatable figures including Santa, a polar bear, a toy soldier, Spongebob, Snoopy, a tree, a snowglobe and a snowman. Other lighted lawn ornaments include snowmen, Santa's, a dolphin, polar bears, Charlie Brown, presents, teddy bears, elves, reindeer, trees, toy soldiers, penguins, I can go on forever, but I won't. If you have ever heard the song 12 pains of Christmas you would understand what it is like at my parents house when my dad is doing the Christmas lights. Let's just say the first time we heard that song my dad was on the floor all the lights spread out as he checked which ones were still working and we all fell over in laughter. It was as if they wrote the lights part for him as if someone recorded him. My dad is awesome, but can easily lose his patience and sometimes when he gets frustrated everything goes wrong, Murphy's law. If you have never heard that song Google it, you will laugh your butt off.

Baking Christmas cookies is I'm sure apart of most peoples traditions as it should be. There is nothing better than a hot, freshly made sugar cookie or my other personal favorite the classic chocolate chip. I used to bake at my parents house, make a mess and then have my mom complain to me about it. There was a time when she made cookies with my brother and I, but as we got older my brother couldn't be bothered and my mom just didn't have the time so I kept the tradition going on my own. Now I bake them at my own place. I usually have my best friend come over and we listen to Christmas Music, catch up on life and taste a cookie from every batch we make. There is no guilt during the holidays none what so ever. This year I have a ton of new recipes I want to try and will let you know how they come out.

Since I moved out of my parents house I still find myself going back there to take part in all of the holiday fun. I can never not help my mom decorate the tree. The ornaments alone are worth the two hours it takes to get them all on. My mom doesn't follow a theme, she doesn't try to make the tree look pretty, no, my parents tree looks like Christmas threw up on it. The first time my boyfriend ever saw my parents Christmas tree his exact words were "It has everything but the kitchen sink." My mom has a hodge podge of ornaments ranging from paper Santa's my brother and I made over twenty years ago to old glass ornaments she got after her mother passed away to ornaments she recieved from her students when she was a preschool teacher. There really is no rhyme or reason just a tree full of memories, wonderful, sometimes tear provoking memories. Now, however, since I have moved out of my parents house I have a tree of my own. So I get to decorate two trees. My boyfriend gets into just as much as I do. We usually have a Christmas movie playing in the background as we place each ornament on the tree. It's funny because my mom always tells me I put the ornaments too close to each other and my boyfriend says the same thing. Both of them always wind up taking an ornament or three that I have placed and moves them. I just laugh and continue on.

Who doesn't love a good Christmas movie? Heck I even love the bad ones. I can watch a Christmas movie in the middle of July. There is just something about them that brings a smile to my face. There are so many movies I watch every year and a few that every year I swear I am going to finally sit down and watch and never do. A list of my favorites:

The Santa Clause

Home Alone

Home Alone Lost in New York

The Grinch (cartoon and movie)

A Charlie Brown Christmas

A Christmas Story

Miracle of 34th Street (The original)

Rudolph

Elf

Scrooged

The Holiday

Home for the Holidays

The Family Stone

On Our Way To Grandmother's House

I even like Christmas with the Kranks, Bad Santa and Surviving Christmas *hangs head in embarrassment*

 The movies that I say I will watch every year and have yet to do so, but plan on doing so this year are It's A Wonderful Life and my mom's favorite Christmas movie, A Christmas Carol (1951). There are also so many more especially the classics that I have yet to see. It's on my list of things to do that is for sure.

Christmas Eve my true Christmas. Originally we would have Christmas Eve at my grandparents house. The traditional Italian Christmas Eve or the feast of the seven fishes. I can bet that you will never see so much in one place as you would in my grandparents house on Christmas Eve. I never ate fish until recently so my grandmother always had baked ziti for me the picky one. Dinner would be served follwed by dessert and then finally opening gifts. As a kid seeing presents under the tree with my name on them was like torture. I wanted to know what was in them, but was never allowed until we all sat around the tree and my grandfather passed each person their gifts. As my grandparents got older my grandmother couldn't do all the cooking anymore so my mom took over. Not much has changed just the location, my parents house. My mom just like my grandma cooks a ridiculous amount of food. Dinner is first followed by dessert and then gifts around the tree. My dad now hands out the gifts as he's the man of the house an honor he takes very seriously. Unfortunately my grandfather is no longer among us opening gifts, but he's still there. He's in our thoughts, our memories, our hearts and to me when it comes down to it all the traditions add up to family.

What are your traditions? What do you do during the holidays that if you didn't the holidays just would not be the same? I'd love to hear about it.

~Staycation~

As of Thanksgiving I was on vacation or what I like to call my staycation since technically I'm not going anywhere. It is now Wednesday and I don't want this week to end. Even though I have spent my days cleaning and decorating there is just something about not having to go to work that is refreshing. The black cloud that usually lingers over my head isn't there. My spirits are high, I feel better and  overall I am in a better mood. It's weird how sometimes you just need to get away (in my case staying home) in order to rejuvenate yourself.

 My living room looks awesome. Garland, santa figurines, vases of pointsettas and snowman are everywhere and it only makes me smile when I enter the room. My kitchen is also decked out to the nines. Fake snow on the top of my cabinets with glitter cone trees and caroler figurines. Love it. Now if I can just get my boyfriend to put the lights in the window and throw out our punmpkins I will be set.

I have been watching an insane amount of Christmas movies this week. Usually during the Christmas season I DVR all of the movies I want to watch, but by the time I find a minute to watch them it's March. So this week I was on a mission to DVR and watch as many movies as I can. I love those made for TV Christmas movies. Granted some are awful, but some are really, really good. I think so far I've watched about nine and still have eight or so on my DVR and it's still recording.

Last night I watched the tree lighting and I cannot wait to get into the city to see it this year. It looked absolutely beautiful. And can I just say that Jessica Simpson actually sounded really good. I didn't look at her while she sang because usually she makes these awful faces and it makes it difficult to listen since I'm too busy laughing. So I listened and she did a great job I was impressed. I've always liked her and have always secretly rooted for her so I felt like a proud Mom or more like a proud younger sister.

I had every intention of catching up on my reading during this staycation and can you believe I haven't picked up a single book. I haven't even written more than a chapter this week. I'm enjoying the Christmas sentiment that I can't be bothered with anything else right now. How sad is that? I'm completely caught up in the Christmas whirlwind. However, I must admit that while most know me as Little Miss Christmas the past couple of years I haven't lived up to my nickname. After my grandfather passed away it was hard. Really hard. My spirit was gone. I tried to pretend it wasn't, but those close to me (aka boyfriend) I couldn't fool. December was our month. My birthday is the 4th and his the 7th and for as long as I can remember the family always got together and we shared our birthday on that weekend. I never thought about what it would be like without him and then one day I had no choice but to find out.  

People say as time goes on it gets easier. In the beginning I didn't believe them. Not even for a second and now going on the third December without my grandfather I can honestly say that it does. It still sucks. It still feels like a piece of me is missing, but the large gaping hole that hurt with such intensity has grown smaller. No matter how much time passes December will always be me and my grandfather's month and nothing will ever change that.